Anxiety: Inside the Box

The more I work with people and listen, it is apparent that we as a nation (world?) are suffering from a chronic low grade to debilitating anxiety.  And the more I listen, the more I understand it is rarely the seeming cause of the anxiety that is the problem (although, the world's collective distress is plenty).  Crisis and even levels of trauma are part of the human experience through our continuums.  We are built and designed to heal ourselves.

What I am hearing and seeing is the lack of inner preparedness, the non-cultivation of more Wholeness and well being in ourselves.   The culture at large does not introduce and nurture in people from a young age the means to navigate this.  We're just not prepared for the speed of life having not known well and appreciated, the slowness.  Most of us are indoctrinated from an early age to be productive, have attainable goals, to note the sequences leading up to success and imitate that.  But most of all, it is the what not to do that westerners have been taught that I believe has the anxiety-meter going through the roof.

We are taught not to value emotional intelligence, the creative impulse and the mysterious.  Indigenous cultures, and peoples whose values are close to nature, close to knowing more subtle and hidden aspects of themselves have this sort of preparedness to deal with crisis.  They have a well developed emotional intelligence  (see Emotional Competence and Autoimmunity).  There is a vertical knowing, a respect and value for a layered emotional connection to self, intuition and a metaphysical relationship to nature, spirit and others.

This type of modus operandi is not the norm in western culture.  We are far from Ourselves.  We put        all our energy into developing our cognitive abilities.  Our systems, paradigms and cultural structures are reason oriented and hierarchical.  There is an external, extend-out-from-ourselves emphasis.  This leaves our core depth, our should-be-solid vertical unsupported, unprepared for stress.  We are living within a tight and often claustrophobic box.  The delight of the unusual, unexpected manifestations and truths that ground our core selves become atrophied.  We operate from a fear-based need to be in control.  Our metaphysical, intuitive, creative self is not used in a balanced relationship with our cognitive capacities.  There is a stunting of this other aspect of ourselves.  This creates a chronic inner state (unseen, unfelt) of being bereft, separated from our inner reality.  There is no wonder we have anxiety.

What can be done? An affirmation of this core strength and a gentle visiting to those places in ourselves is required.  As is seen in the following article, when a corporate (western) approach is taken to encourage people to learn meditation or yoga (Is Mindfulness Making Us Sick?), 

unexpected and un-desirous results ensue.  It's an attempt to go from the (totally unprepared) outside to the In.  As the article points out, the In resists.  It puts up all sorts of resistance because it's a violent attempt (from its perspective) at awakening parts of ourselves that have had little activity.   This would be akin to sprinting a mile when you've been on the couch for a month.  So all the ego-survival mechanisms pull out the stops and what we get is a lot of disturbing body memories buried in a vault in ourselves.  It is a violence of sorts and because of the often insistent approach, not rooted in kindness but force.  A gentle, curious interest needs to be cultivated first.  In this state, knocking on that door might yield a gradual opening (if there is no agenda).  Everything in its own time.

The western approach (cognitive, analytical, systematic, efficient, rational) in a basically eastern method is not possible.  We have to lend ourselves to our more innate eastern capacities.  The creative, the metaphysical, the sensory-based--- all inherent in the human organism.  This is an intelligence of a totally different order.  It is wise when transversing on foreign soil, to be attentive, curious and humble in one's approach.  Temperance. Rome wasn't built in a day, or in a weekend meditation workshop.

Know Thyself.  Know your (present) limitations.  Feel what is keen inside.  If the door is not opening, it has its (good) reasons.  Respect this.  It is just for the present.  Bring a humility and care to all of yourself and your endeavors.  Ask for help.  Be discerning in whom you trust with your Depth.  Is it a hierarchical arrangement? If the relationship is less a mutuality and more a "I know more than you, I will teach you about you/what you should know", be careful (run for the hills).  A healing is always a state of self-empowerment (as messy and non-sensical as it sometimes may be).  A healing and healer finds you when you're ready, you don't have to go looking for it/them; you just have to be available, in a state of receptivity.  Receptivity blossoms when there is a nonjudgmental interest and an authentic curiosity.  With self-empathy and joy, start to experience aspects of yourself outside the box.  Anxiety will be less overwhelming and more manageable.

Preparation: Procurement to Plate, the Joy of Partaking II

photo credit:  Lalu Danzker

So, you have hauled home a treasure trove of good eats from vendors with whom you have hopefully had a jolly time.  You are excited.  You are hopeful.  You are vibrating from relationship; relationship with your curious self, exquisite gifts from nature and beast, and a nourishing engagement with those who love and appreciate what they grow.  This is a happiness.  Now, in this gratitude, we consider how best to prepare these gifts.

How do we do this?  What are the influences?

The conditions vary.  We might have shopped with an idea of a meal in mind, being directive in our approach.  We might have shopped wearing our instinct, our intuition, open to what is freshest at the market.  Regardless, we have these fine resources.  I take them out and admire them once again.  I resensitize myself to their vibration, their hardiness or delicacy, their beauty.  I consider their relationship and possible combinations to each other.  I notice their "voice".  The seasoning they call for, even the way they'd liked to be cut, chopped and treated.  In my regard for them, these gifts I and others are about to receive, there is a hope to honor them and those that provided them.  But this is not a heavy honor, if anything it is a playful one.  I want to find ease, and relaxation, again my curiosity and most of all I want to have some fun.  Braise, broil, steam, bake, poach, reduce, wine or no whine?  The possibilities.  How to know what actions and in actions are needed.

Because you shopped locally and picked things with glory and vibration-- you probably picked seasonal.  And the season calls you to respond.  Spring is light and lightly aromatic.  Summer calls for bare-naked naturalness, a coolness even rawness.  Fall is deep, earthy, heavier more sustaining.  Winter is warm, daringly aromatic, rooted.

Tamar Adler's An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace has been a life changing book for me.  Life changing in the way I consider food and cooking.  One of her premises I work with all the time is the connection one meal has to the next.  The thick residue from the bottom of the pot of beans one cooked is the beginning of tomorrow's soup.  The "ends" of vegetables not used in preparation for dinner, are again, the beginning of tomorrow's soup stock.  Everything is connected, useful.  I've taken that one step further in asking myself, how are my components related?  How do I bring a thread of what is part of one component to the next, relate them, bring an overall harmony to the entirety of a meal.  The slice of lemon in water served at a meal might be echoed in a sliver or two of it's rind perched almost

imperceptibly on a piece of herb and wine-poached fish.  The basil in the herbed fish might be suggested in the spearmint (same family--Lamiaceae-- as basil) that is lightly confettied over the fresh fruit for dessert.  A lamb stew with fresh sprigs of rosemary has an almost subliminal echo in the water boiled for the accompanying rice or potatoes which you threw the stripped branches of rosemary into (to remove at the end of the cooking).  It's a hint, a light almost subconscious impression of the relationship from one component to the next. There is an endless way to carry the thread in a meal.  Staying close to curiosity and "the player" in oneself is helpful in determining the manifestation's gesture.

Another consideration is suggested by Ayurveda, an (eastern) Indian health approach.  Our tongue and palate is comprised of sensory taste receptors: sweet, salty, sour, savory (umami) and bitter.  Ayurveda cooking looks to satisfy all of these taste receptors in a meal.  So, when I cook, I try to consider that the entire meal has a balance of these five taste sensations.  Balance not being 20% of each flavor making 100% of the meal, but balance being in relation to the whole.  Hence, the development of one's culinary "palate" is inevitable.  This opens my field quite a bit.  Sweetness doesn't always have to be in dessert, but perhaps a condiment to go with the protein.  Perhaps dessert is the protein; a combination of nut-based crust and dairy filling, preceded by a thin soup and light salad; a sublimely hearty end of a meal .  Experimenting with turning the predictable on its head is, dare I say, a heady notion.

Culinary pleasure and digestion begins in our senses, especially the visual.  Hence, why care in presentation is necessary.  The gustatory sense is stopped if food is presented wrapped in greasy paper or unspecific boxes.  Considerations with the visual in mind are color, shape, size and texture.  In the plant world there are arguably 7 colors as far as palette goes (that arbitrary number is challenged as there are at least 5 variations of green alone in the edible plant world).  I try to have at least 5 colors in a meal, (for nutritional composition and visual compliment) but I always aim for 7.  I consider the "heart" of my meal and move from there.

The heart is often the protein.  My rebel self often balks at this seeming undeniable culinary truth.  I play with this notion.  And sometimes I lose.  But at least I play and I always learn.  I resist the cultural habit that meat be at every meal, be at one meal a day, one meal a week (depending on your cultural influences).  I play with the notion that meat can be treated more like a condiment, an aside, a small potent presence to the mighty diverse selection of the incredible vegetable or homey complex carb.  Sometimes it works just so and other times the heart of a meal just can't be the vegetable combination you've put together.  It's live and learn.  A very complex and hearty slaw with roasted nuts or seeds can be very central and sustaining, especially if a chewy/crusty bread and cheese accompany.  Try and succeed, try and fail, it's all great because your interest, intention and attention are active.  There are no bad meals if that is engaged during the preparation.

photo credit: Lalu Danzker

The consideration of shape, size and texture is important, but often enough not considered.  I was looking forward to trying Ethiopian food out on the town with some friends, but found that each of us were served varying flavored legume purees.  The flavors couldn't trump the solitary texture, and the bread served, although somewhat interesting (made from an ancient African grain) was not in good relationship to the pureed food, being kind of stretchy and gray.  Purees can be used to wonderful effect; they can compliment in color and texture. A light green pea puree under a delicate white fish has contrasting textures and complimentary colors.  A white parsnip puree or bright orange carrot puree is a delightful foil for a rich, darkly glazed beef or lamb.  To have something straightforward and simple accompanied by something complex in flavor is a marriage of balance.  A group of minimally touched green beans is a whole component that supports a garlic/potato mash and multi-colored/complicated stew.  Everything about it grounds the meal:  the deep green color, its untouched wholeness, its promise of lightness and simplicity, even its possible reference to a season just ended or about to begin.  It might not be the "hero" on the plate, but it makes the hero look good by its otherness.

Turning Toward: An Approach to Addiction

One of the wonderful aspects of navigating a wellness coaching business is finding my strengths along the way and attracting those that would resonate.  I am surprised to be surprised finding out who I am.  And I am even more surprised at the people who find their way to me for support and assistance.  There, more often than not, is a shared vibration which makes even the stickiest, difficult work a joy for us both.

Whereas most nurses are very directive, that is not my favorite approach (although it has been fun to play the bossy role at times).  The bodyworker-artist in me finds my own and other's difficulties intriguing.  In relation to a healing or dealing with a habit, I can do all the linear list making a client could ever want, but what I really love and find most effective, is collaborating.  In regards to wellness, I don't personally like being told what to do, and I have found most autonomous, self-directed adults feel likewise.  I like figuring things out with the light guidance of others.  I like to be empowered in the process, not directed by an other's force (well meaning or not).  So, creating relationship with one whom helps and making relationship with that which needs attention is an adventure worth exploring.

One of the approaches I've used successfully as of late with addiction (in particular smoking) has been focusing compassion on the parts of oneself that needs smoking to survive.  Forget about the external addiction.  Who in this person needs, craves, longs for cigarettes?  Don't quit smoking out of inner/outer pressure from others or out of shame.  Quit smoking because you don't need it anymore.  Heal the original wound.

The parts of a client that need smoking are vulnerable.  The last thing they need is contempt, ridicule, disappointment  and rejection coming at them.  They hardly can admit their existence out of fear of being seen as weak, pathetic and pitiful.  Working with people to divulge these delicate areas in themselves, works best if  humor is in play.  Also, creatively using trance state, movement and play in venues that a client appreciates and relaxes in, is useful.  Buoyancy and play help in the suspension of fear and negativity.

What I have been finding in many people who depend upon smoking, is they do so because it takes the edge off of their loneliness, frustrations, sense of isolation, misery, grief, feeling of abandonment, or friendlessness.  People who smoke (maybe who struggle with any addiction or hard habit) have had a trauma around one of these mentioned areas that they could not then and have not since been able to navigate.  They started smoking when their girlfriend left them back in high school, or the kids went off to college or lost a job, etc.  Or they started smoking to quell a sense of self-inadequacy, disappointment, disillusionment.  Over time, smoking became inextricably linked to relief from these emotional states that are hard to admit to oneself or others.  Emotional states that are unbearable (without a cigarette).  This is the human condition.  In practice, this is what surfaces, the pictures that unfold, the stories that get told.  The feelings linked to the smoking are usually more shaming for the client than the actual smoking.

So, how does this compassion approach work?  What I do is set an intention with the client to not change anything overtly, but to watch, observe and even honor the need by caring for the needy-one.  This allows change to unfold organically, naturally, non-violently.  We watch the ritual of smoking; the reliable time around the urges, how a cigarette is actually handled from beginning to end, the thoughts and feelings in the inhale, the exhale, the smells and other sense involvement. I encourage practicing a suspension of judgement or self criticism during the study; it frees up that which is curious and interested.  Clients record heavy/light usage times, when is the best cigarette of the day, when is the time it is most negligible.  They record the sense of who in them requires a drag or two (the bored, defiant teenager, the lonely child?).   We also record the external and internal stressors, the hiding of it from certain places and people, when is it enjoyable and when is it repugnant.  In this process, they (and I) begin to become more familiar with what the habit of smoking is to this unique organism, what it means to all/most of themselves, the joy and sorrow around it, connected to it and the pleasure/displeasure present. And we are easy (even playful) about it.  Hell, brimstone and cancer threats are not required.

What happens in this approach is the person inside who has this habit is less shrouded in shame, becomes more self-accepted.  A curiosity is cultivated. It doesn't become about "breaking" the habit, it's more about the interesting self who participates in the habit and all the accompanying circumstances and history that support it.  It becomes an awakening of sorts that is freed from the previous inevitable guilt.  When clients start to emerge out of their shame and guilt over the addiction, I've witnessed a soaring sense of creativity and intuition from them, which then becomes like a beacon toward a movement of change.  Seemingly all of a sudden, they decide their living situation needs tweaking to abate their loneliness.  Or they acquire a pet, join a church, or take up an art class.  Experiencing this vivid creativity, they begin to feel what it is like to be more themselves.  This phenomenon by itself is enormously comforting.  And then, quite anticlimactically one day (in their own time) it is decided, "You know, I don't think I want to have smoking in my life anymore.  I don't need it." Like giving up old clothes that don't feel right anymore. And every time this happens for a client, there is a new Wow for me.  It's incredible how natural and non violent the action is.  The stopping wasn't based on withholding, denying, shame or judgement. It's based on a healing seated in a global sense of self love.

Post smoking cravings and urges are there, but taken in perspective, because they've been studied with compassion.  One senses one's dimension; no longer held in these mean, contemptuous pigeonholes of "weak", "addict", "hopeless, never to change",  "disgusting", etc.  The secret corners have been exposed to benevolence.  Someone loving, kind and occasionally funny has partnered up with them--- themSelf.  They truly are no longer alone or friendless or isolated.  They've evolved caring witnesses within in the process of courageously facing their history, undisclosed feelings and their truth.

This approach is really a larger commitment to know oneself, and yet also does happen to be effective in habit cessation.  People who appreciate this inside-out work,  are the types of clients I am interested in and whom seem to be attracted to my wellness work.  I can and have done the directed, linear approach. But, it is not that interesting to me.  It requires but a perfunctory formation of a relationship to self, other or the issue. If it is at all successful, it's almost always partially so.   Compassion work is a commitment but it lasts a lifetime; once you get a taste, a gist of it, it's pretty easy to access and keep as a consistent constant in one's life.  It actually becomes almost impossible not to actively know it.  It is Love in action, something one begins to find, they can't live without.

Memory and the Body (Part II)

As an umbrella term including all age related cognitive impairments, dementia in industrial and developing countries is epidemic. The number of cases of dementia worldwide in 2010 was estimated at 35.6 million.(1) Rates increase significantly with age, with dementia affecting 5% of the population older than 65 and 20–40% of those older than 85. (2)  While western medicine is trying to figure out the "cure" and management for this condition, it also would be useful to understand and explore the energetics and the relationship of the culture at-large to this malady.

In science terms, what is happening to those experiencing some form of dementia?  This is a neurological disease, meaning that the neurons and the connections in the body that serve them (synapses, transmission factors) are impaired.  This may be due to an accumulation of protein plaques as part of normal aging, atrophy of vessels effecting subtle communications to the brain, inflammation, inadequate blood sugar, and traumatic brain injury.  In energetic terms, it could be said, there is a block or impingement in the flow of qi or prana:  an energetic (and organic) circulation problem.

We are energetic beings living in layers upon layers of an energy charged world. We are influenced by these layers of energy (universal and material) and we concurrently influence the macrocosmos in how we tend and don't tend our own energy fields.  Life force (the condition of our energy fields, qi, prana) is thinnest at both ends of life's spectrum: infancy and old age.  Because of this, these two populations (as well as the ill) are extremely sensitized to energy.  They are practically osmotic in their internal reception to energy.     They are supremely (non-cognitively) aware of surrounding tensions and are impacted profoundly by even mild (negative, tense) stimulation.  In past posts, when I have mentioned the term "a deeper listening capacity", these populations are living there.  Not out of choice (which would be ours if we choose to nourish that in ourselves) but because their energy fields are thin (or "holey"); there is little to no buffer for them. For most of the rest of us, we have the buffers of ego and personality which usually supersede  these delicate places.  The daily dying we do, the moving in and out of sleep and dream states, straddling these (energy?) "other" worlds are transitions those experiencing dementia obliquely traverse.

For the infant and elderly populations, cognition and reason are not available (not developed yet or disease altered).  Hence, an experience of pain does not always register through the brain's pathways, but is nonetheless energetically experienced.  The sensitized "outsider" looking on would recognize its manifestation as irritability, restlessness, uncharacteristic (negative-based) behaviors.  Between 25% and 50% of older adults experience persistent pain. Seniors with dementia experience the same prevalence of conditions likely to cause pain as the elderly without dementia. Pain is often overlooked in older adults and, when screened for, often poorly assessed, especially among those with dementia since they become incapable of informing others that they're in pain. Beyond the issue of humane care, unrelieved pain has functional implications. Persistent pain can lead to decreased ambulation, depressed mood, sleep disturbances, impaired appetite and exacerbation of cognitive impairment, and pain-related interference with activity is a factor contributing to falls in the elderly. (3)

In the dementia literature, it is stated 40-50% of patients with the illness are depressed.  From my observations, depression and anxiety are prevalent as a past history in these patients.  What's first, the 'chicken or the egg' is the question that comes to me.  From a qi perspective, experiences of anxiety and depression are blocks in the flow of emotional health; it is the plaque in our feeling center that prevents joy, gratitude and acceptance.  Whereas there is an organic, physical/mental atrophy present in dementia progression, considering the flow of qi, life force in our emotional lives is also an imperative.

Finally, one of the things not often considered in the global dementia epidemic, is the place of the larger community.  For those in robust health, entertaining the notion we all are dying a little bit each day, navigating the dying process through dream states, minute loss of one function or another, is difficult to entertain.  As was said, we have the ego and personality buffers that are considerably removed from the truth of momentary dying.  But putting ourselves in the experience of one with cognitive deficits, means to enter that supremely sensitized energy state.  It is possible to straddle the cognitively 'clear' world one lives in while being in a rich and interesting relationship with someone who doesn't have those attributes.  It means listening more deeply, becoming more observant to energy manifestations and intrigued by the being that Is.  It means detaching a bit from what I think is Real.  It means setting aside my preconceived ideas as to what is meaningful and the probable emphasis on rational thought.

1.  Alzheimer's Disease International (2009). World Alzheimer Report 2009. p. 38. Retrieved 11 March 2012.

2.  Sadock, Benjamin James Sadock, Virginia Alcott (2008).Kaplan & Sadock's concise textbook of clinical psychiatry (3rd ed.). Philadelphia: Wolters Kluwer/Lippincott Williams & Wilkins. p. 52. ISBN 978-0-7817-8746-8.

3. Hadjistavropoulos, T et al.; Herr, K; Turk, DC; Fine, PG; Dworkin, RH; Helme, R; Jackson, K; Parmelee, PA et al. (2007). "An interdisciplinary expert consensus statement on assessment of pain in older persons". Clinical Journal of Pain 23 (1 suppl): S1–43. doi:10.1097/AJP.0b013e31802be869. PMID 17179836 

Shega, J; Emanuel, L; Vargish, L; Levine, S.K.; Bursch, H; Herr, K; Karp, J.F.; Weiner, D.K. (2007). "Pain in persons with dementia: complex, common, and challenging". Journal of Pain 8(5): 373–8. doi:10.1016/j.jpain.2007.03.003. PMID 17485039.

Blyth, F; Cumming, M.R.; Mitchell, P; Wang, J.J. (2007). "Pain and falls in older people". European Journal of Pain 11 (5): 

Present to Death

Death and dying and contemplating this passage for oneself is a sobering reckoning most of us visit privately and with others at least a few times in life's journey.  A recent experience of this topic discussed among friends stayed with me for several days, and I feel compelled to write about it.

We all die.  And, if we are honest, we are afraid to do so.  If we had a chance to choose how to die, it would basically come down to a choice of the least unpalatable means (wishful thinking) for most of us.  What interested me in the aforementioned conversation among friends was the general insistence felt among the many in the conversation that they be present to themselves and the experience of dying; they wished not to miss the process, not to be in a drugged stupor nor apparent absence of dementia, but to experience their life to the fullest right up to the end.

As a nurse, all I could think was, "may the angels not be listening to this."  This human existence is an endless series of rounds of suffering (and joy).  There is no avoidance of pain.  It's our birthright and payment we make as human beings.  Experiencing our thresholds of pain in different layers is a valuable, even an illuminating materiality that can bring a richness to one's life.  That experience is something we take on willingly, especially if we know there is an end to it, a reprieve in sight (i.e. childbirth, brief uncomfortable procedures, a really bad headache, a divorce with a court date).  Pain medications are a god send when you need them.  Our pain thresholds decrease as we age.  The more frail we become, the more acutely we feel pain.  Pain medication and adjunct therapies that address pain receptors in our bodies/brains (clinical aromatherapy, bodywork, energy work, acupuncture, qigong) should be freely accessed if possible.

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A question came to me when discussing this idea of being fully "present" right up to the end:  How could we not be present to this cataclysmic event, same as the impossibility of not being present to our birth?  We are born as Whole selves.  Seemingly our purpose is to find how to live this wholeness in the time we are given.  We don't spend a lot of time knowing or experiencing this.  We don't know how, but (hopefully) spend a lifetime working toward being in relationship to the Whole that we are.  But despite this lack, we are still One.  A muscle is still a muscle even if it is atrophied.  We can't miss our passing because we're in a coma, or in a medication-induced delirium.  To imply this, is to believe Presence is a cognitive state.  It is not.

The body is an incredible dimensional, layered and impossibly complex organism.  Some type of life is going on in a person living in a coma. Arnie and Amy Mindell have proven this in their studies of coma patients.  You just have to hang 
around people in these altered states for a period of time to sense this is true.  We on the outside are 
not privy to this passage they are moving through.  But there is no mistake the experience of moving 
toward a death is not passing them by.  In the case of quick, usually violent deaths (it is my opinion), 
the layers of ourselves (body, energybody, spirit, soul) are separated.  And there is a need to re-assemble 
before a passing is complete.  There is a presence in this, an actual energetic movement toward the 
Wholeness we are in body on earth, and probably beyond.

So, we may have these temporary distractions of suffering, agony, trauma, violence which ultimately leads to our death, but our innate divinity is always present.  It's the thing that leads us Home, through this important transition.  We seemingly are in preparation our entire lives for this moment, are living this truth in small ways almost on a daily basis; through our system changes, relationships, the almost inconsequential letting go and acceptances that is our daily bread.  The cultivation of a deeper understanding of the layers of presence possible to be earned in a lifetime, is a support to an actualization at (bodily) death.  It is impossible not to be present to one's own death.  The cells, the energy fields within our body system are constant cues, despite our denial variations or momentary circumstances that seem to remove a consciousness from the equation.  The reality of the breath and depth of consciousness sinks in.  Consciousness... Presence are not cognitive activities.  They are a fuller, deeper, more whole experience, connected within, connected without.

A Significant Movement

As the discourse continues as to why we as a nation are burdened with so many tragic homicides and mass murders, I am reminded to come to myself.  I am reminded to feel my feet on the ground, my breath moving through this body, to feel the feelings.  Like everyone else, I too have the desire to "fix" this, to throw a few directives into the mix and watch everything change to a rosier hue.  But with feet planted and my breath not moving so freely, I feel the sorrow of the impossibility of this.  Change is hard.  Too young at the time to remember, I imagine the civil rights activists of the 1960s might have had several similar and sobering pauses.  And even though we technically have more secured legal rights for all, garnered by the hard work of those vigilant activists, we still are plagued with prejudice, hatred, suspicion and separation for those different than us, whether they be of color, religion, political affiliation, age, geographic origins, class, gender, mental/physical wellness or sexual orientation to name but a few.  What hasn't changed is an internal movement, the type of movement that actually is significant.


Violence is born from isolation and attachment; attachment to static belief and isolation from other (experiences).  Isolated and attached, relationship is not possible; there is no room, no breath, no inner flexibility to rely on.  Non-sensical violent actions transpire because most of me is not related.  Not related to myself, not related to my environment, not related to others. I am not watching.  I am not listening.  Or if I am, it's superficial, not from a fuller, more embodied intelligence.  Moving toward this intelligence must become our bottom line, not how much profits can be had (possibly a reason why mental health is not supported by systems: it's not profitable -in immediate dollar terms-, unlike most medical treatment).  Cultural violence, which has been pointed out so tangibly in statistics as of late, has to be taken on. There is no singular magic fix.  It's nature is complex. Personally, we have to own our own violence before the trickle down manifests.  As was mentioned in my Violence: a Cautionary Truth post, violence can be subtle and insidious.  This then, would require a greater ability to sensitize oneself to what is, a willingness not to turn away, a capacity for nonjudgment and acceptance of oneself (and others).

Sort of ridiculous to ask this of a culture at large?  Yes it is.  So, then I ask this of myself.  And then I ask this of myself again.  And I try to remember internal movement is significant.

Sonnet 07 - The face of all the world is changed, I think by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

The face of all the world is changed, I think,
Since first I heard the footsteps of thy soul
Move still, oh, still, beside me, as they stole
Betwixt me and the dreadful outer brink
Of obvious death, where I, who thought to sink,
Was caught up into love, and taught the whole
Of life in a new rhythm. The cup of dole
God gave for baptism, I am fain to drink,
And praise its sweetness, Sweet, with thee anear.
The names of country, heaven, are changed away
For where thou art or shalt be, there or here;
And this . . . this lute and song . . . loved yesterday,
(The singing angels know) are only dear
Because thy name moves right in what they say.

Violence: a Cautionary Truth

“The Roots of Violence: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Knowledge without character, Commerce without morality, Science without humanity, Worship without sacrifice, Politics without principles." 
― Mahatma Gandhi 

Violence begets violence.  The peacemakers through the ages knew this.  People like you and me when exposed to brutality, senseless or purposeful-- we become changed.  Things we never could dream of feeling or doing, a depth of hatred unimaginable materializes.  A violated being is capable of the darkest manifestations.  Violence happens out of a skewed sense of justice, moral authority, unchecked righteousness and rage.  The expressions range from biting language to imposed or orchestrated poverty to crusades to holocausts.

And we are surrounded, nay bombarded with one type of violence or another almost continuously, from birth to death.  Babies are "righted" in position and inclination, made to meet expectations in their feeding and sleeping habits, children are bullied and made to tow the education line frequently, hazing in college, premeditated cultural expectations on lifestyle choices for adults, neglect often is the elderly experience and various forms of abuse are endured through all continuums. Those in the military, in the middle or on the fringes of military conflict, are exposed at the very least to an inhuman rigid structure that can violate the "call and response" mechanism normal in the central nervous system.  Ordinary we each have our daily doses, imbibed through negative media, environmental noise, traffic or toxic stimulation; or at least, that's how this sensitive organism takes it in.  One of the responses to brutality is to turn it inward.  Whereas harming others may not be an option in a moment, often we swallow or self inflict a strike on ourselves.  We partake in obsession, addictions, worry, depression, have our own personal accidents and various levels of anxiety.  Stress is rarely noted in terms of self-violence, but our failure to check stress often determines the personal level of suffering experienced.

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." -- Isaac Asimov

We can become mired in these indulgences rather easily.  Closed throat chakras ban all truths from being spoken.  The body is brilliant at shutting down, becoming numb, deadening the truth of what is.  The psych denies, twists, forgets and minimizes.  All of this, in the name of survival from the brutality being experienced or known.

"Social justice cannot be attained by violence.  Violence kills what it intends to create."  Pope John Paul II

Humans naturally have this propensity; it is the animal in us.  Organic (and otherwise) competition often fosters the alpha qualities recognizable in our brethren, the beast.  Ego and ambition pushes us in that direction.

Violence is a strong word to describe what may seem ordinary to some.  How can it be used in this way?  Because it is ordinary and exists in the very fabric of our individual humanity and collective culture.  Violence is an inattentive force proliferated without awareness on oneself or another. No matter how seemingly benign (ie "righting" a baby to a feeding or bathing position that is comfortable for oneself but not asked for, indicated or required by a newborn being) when done without an intention or greater awareness, violates an others sense of self governance.  This is so common it is rarely recognized as a type of strong arming.  If one was more present at the moment, the recognizable taste of use of power by size, age, economic class or knowledge would be sensed and known as a major factor in the act.

"Violence is not merely killing another.  It is violence when we ue a sharp word, when we make a gesture to brush away a person, when we obey because there is fear. So violence isn't merely organized butchery in the name of God, in the name of society or country.  Violence is much more subtle, much deeper"--Jiddu Krishnamurti

How do we differentiate violence from say, discipline?  Respect of other is always at the base of discipline and fully absent in violence.  Also, there is an integrated intelligence which is responsive and not reactive in discipline.  Energetically, violence is raw and ungrounded, usually unpredictable and ego driven.   Whereas, discipline is a focused and aligned energy that serves as a guide without an agenda.  Domination is an impulse born of fear; it is a basic animal instinct present in one degree or another, always.  The more we bring a larger attention and awareness to our daily actions, the more we will  know ourselves, become more available to our fuller humanity, the less this impulse will be tolerated in oneself, the less weight of myself violence will usurp. And we need this greater attention and awareness, because as Krishnamurti says above, the inner tyranny of violence can be quite subtle and it goes deep.

"In violence, we forget who we are." -- Mary McCarthy