What Matters?

We identify priorities, values.  We move toward and away as clarity comes into focus.  We form goals and aims.  The mechanism of how we operate (each of us has our own unique approach and retreat means) goes into play.  How we structure and feel into our wants and needs depends on our fuller intelligence.  Not just our mental/cognitive talent, but also our accessibility to our feeling life and our connection to our body.

Win or lose, fail or succeed is almost always in the forefront of our being as a weighty consideration to what matters.  But strangely, it’s doubtful to me that it matters the outcome (even though we may be conditioned to think otherwise).  What matters, is the effort we made, the striving and struggle toward that which is calling us.

Effort is energy.  It reads.  It reads to oneself and others.  It creates an influence to the outside and the inside.  The quality of effort matters.  Hard, forceful, determined, tense effort can be a ‘manhandling’ of one’s energy field (and others).  One can push a boulder up a mountain after all, and get the job done with enormous external effort.  Culturally, we understand effort by use of force.

In Chinese thought, all things contain yin and yang.  The dark/light, hard/soft, passive/active.  So it is in effort.  Attaining or meeting something is sometimes a mere thought, feeling or sensation.  Many bodywork principles are based on this.  (ie: Alexander Technique:  if I think upward and out the influence is felt in the rest of me and it happens.)  We are conditioned that effort is rolling that boulder up the mountain.  But effort also can be soft, sublime and a sensitized awareness that is cultivated and maintained.

Effort.  When I chronically turn away from what is distressing and difficult, when I drop into my denial of what IS, I turn away from what matters.  I lose my internal warrior.  If I somehow can allow that courageous effort of facing what Is, not turn away, that becomes a moment of triumph.  Even if I turn away again (which almost always is inevitable).  Even if “nothing comes of it”…. this time.

What matters?  What matters is I try even if it is assured I will fail.  I am conditioned it is bad to fail.  Facing that conditioning is an effort.  The attempt to know myself in the discomfort of the unknown, with little to no internal recourse, and a certainty I will most likely fail, is strengthening the power of effort.  

Failing this time, but maybe not the 100^th time.  The value becomes the Now and is no longer the outcome.  It is a Quixotic attitude.

When I’ve contemplated over decades the karma of things, despair has often visited, knowing we are almost certain to repeat the mistakes and failures, possibly into the next life (if that should be so).  The probability is slim we master that (seemingly) karmic challenge.  But now, my attitude is not so fixed on mastering the weakness or frailty.  What matters is I worked with it consistently; I met it over and over again and made efforts to know it.  That effort, it builds sustenance inside and strength outside.  It is an influence on all of the world and also me and possibly my karma.  Transformation and miracles are possible due to this.  This is the Water element in Chinese medicine.  The wearing away of the stone by a drop of water that falls, repeated a zillion times.  Light, methodical, patient, and repetitive.  Water conquers all, eventually.

Spontaneous Meditation

We live in a world that is self-centric. Human propensity (and culturally condoned narcissistic tendencies) dictate the belief in individuality, promoting that each of us is the center of the universe. So, we have "my life.... my community.... my meditation practice", and so on.

Lately, I have had the sublime experience of frequent spontaneous meditations; a 'sitting' period in the middle of somewhere (not my usual morning cushion), at a time of day when I'm not used to partaking in this activity.  What has surfaced over these unusual (for me) occurrences, is the realization I take false ownership of this thing I call meditation, and how usually there is a lack of mutuality with the energies around me, the divine, the relationship with Other-- that which is unseen and largely unknown.

Meditation in the past has in good part been 'work', self-discipline, occasionally agonizing.  Someone in me often labels meditations as:  a "good" sitting, a "difficult" sitting and everything in-between.  Rarely, is this naming habit self-questioned, this attitude that marks my internal experiences noted.  So, to have these spontaneous occurrences of connection to more of myself and to that which is around me and the enjoyment of the movement of the accompanying energies inside and outside of me is surprising.  It's not work, it's not self-disciplined and it's definitely not agonizing.  It brings to me the question, what in me sits:  wants to sit, needs to sit?  This is a feeling, a sensation not a thought.  Is the value of it usually a mental exercise of what I think is good for me (and maybe the world outside of me)?  This experience of a spontaneous meditation, feels organic, natural, unforced, not premeditated (no pun intended).  It also has a quality of connection that isn't self-centric.  It's not for me, about me, nor is it mine.  It's an engagement of another order.

This is not to judge the decades of the other qualitative types of sittings I've known.  It's probable that one type of connecting to oneself builds on the other efforts made which prepares the ground for yet other types of self-relatedness to be in existence.  So all is good; no effort goes unwasted, as it is said.

Which brings me back to the notion of being and acting from value not obligation, discipline and duty.  The quality of the experience is enhanced with the former.  An opening transpires, curiosity and  interest carry me with a buoyancy.  One's sense of aliveness is palpable,  When I value and feel the worth of the Stop, the breath, the stillness, the what Is, my connection is very different.  I become relatable, the attention is softly acute.  It's a state somewhat removed from the ordinary, unattached to my usual human struggle.

Obligation, duty, discipline-- there is a place for them, in meditation and elsewhere.  As I am finding with many practices, even diet awareness and exercise, when I approach them with excitement and curiosity or engage out of enjoyment instead of duty something else happens besides the accomplishment of a healthy meal, an exercise routine done or a morning meditation completed.  An experience, often transcendent, occurs.  I have more Life.  I have an experience which is more connected to myself and more related to the subtle energies that surround me.

Virtual Bodywork (?!)

It is the 21st century.  I am finding through trial and error, exploration and surprise there is a practice which could be named Virtual Bodywork.

Merriam-Webster's definition of bodywork, in my estimation, is woefully vague and lacking:   "therapeutic touching or manipulation of the body by using specialized techniques."  My experience of what bodywork is, from both the giving and receiving point of view, is complex and layered.  It includes M-W's definition, but goes way beyond (see a more in-depth description in my post:Bodywork, Energy Medicine: Whole Healing).  Bodywork is an act of a layered, mutual listening between facilitator and client.  Intuition and all senses are engaged in an acute attention.  The relationship in the experience of bodywork is anchored in trust; it has to be, because what occurs is deep, intimate, and often edgy.  From both role's point of view (the facilitator and receiver), there is a heightened sense of the sublime in oneself:  the way energy is moving, expressing itself; and the subsequent following provides information to the now and what is present.  The facilitator is not only grounded in whatever skills he/she might have developed, but is also providing an attention (full-bodied listening capacity) and meta-witnessing skills that are flexible enough to go with the flow, often the unexpected.  Trust is implicit. Trust of one's knowing in a moment.  Trust in one's inclinations as they come (even if they seem cognitively bizarre in the moment).  Trust in other.  This happens for both parties.  Whereas there is room for wonder and question, there isn't room for insecurity and fear.  Easy to say, hard to Be.

Based on the decades I have done bodywork, I can say that communication between facilitator and receiver is not usually seated in verbalization.  Bodywork is, by nature, often nonverbal; and when it's not, the verbal communication is based in an energetic exchange and doesn't usually have a 'chatty' or talkative quality.  Good facilitators and open receivers who are experienced in this type of work don't have rigid agendas or hard and fast rules.  To get the most from the work both facilitator and receiver allow the "energy bath" of the work to wash over them without immediately interpreting, but just following.  We are curious energy detectives, following the small and large clues, making no immediate conclusions, allowing what is to Be. 

Some of my work with people necessitates the use of the internet, webcams and (virtual) software applications.  Up until recently I was using this technology primarily for wellness coaching, which works pretty well with clients whom are long distance.  Almost accidentally, as of late, I have begun using this technology to do a version of long-distance bodywork.  

Following the Rules: Embodying Ourselves and the Practice

The embodying of an art form, practice or ourselves, means a two-fold process:  learning the "rules" well, living them so they are a natural reference point, and then letting go of the rule's structure.  Only then is there a deep confidence in one's "Way" and a freedom in that Way. Only then do we become ourselves, or form art or live a practice.

I am not particularly a lover of rules.  In fact for me, it has always been a secret pleasure to bend and/or go against them.  Rules often impinge upon "individuality", a self's impulse.  They are often restrictive, even stifling.  But as in all things, there is a season, a time for everything.  So there is a time to understand and live the rules (without them absconding who You may Be).  To blindly identify and attach to rules, whether they be a religious or spiritual practice or a craft/art, is to live bound.  There comes a time when stepping beyond the structure of rules is necessary to grow oneself and one's practice up.

I am a 'personal witness' for someone in a large group Authentic Movement (AM) session.  I move first and find myself doing a lot of strong, grounding movements with my arms, legs, body.  It's as if I am filling myself with strength and courage.  I move out and my mover moves in.  I am 15 feet away from her and have the impression I should be closer.  This would be breaking the group agreement (rule) of returning to the same place for witnessing all the time, established at the beginning of the group session.  I stay where I am, but keep feeling the tug to move closer.  I finally move the 10 feet I need to be closer to her.  I "sprout" my arms, moving them into a large embrace of the space to identify my new spot to the other witnesses. They sprout their arms as well, acknowledging the change. The container feels intact.

Despite my deep love and appreciation of Authentic Movement practice, I almost always have an inner eye roll when the form's guidelines get raised in a new group.  They are practical and almost entirely safety based; why take the trouble to bring them up, we all know them.

Well, we don't all know them in the same way. It is an assumption to think otherwise. Much like social etiquette in different families, regions and countries, the rules, customs and the understanding of AM rules can be different.  It becomes necessary when crossing boundaries and terrain to keep clear the very simple guidelines.  The reminder of them actually sets an intention for safety.  Safety is imperative in an AM setting; the depth of our work has the possibility of surfacing and showing us our otherwise submerged material.  Without safety, our protection and survival mechanisms are always in play, in at least an oblique defense, making it impossible for the more subtle expressions to reveal themselves.


As I witness my mover, I remain standing, this being somewhat irregular in the form.  The mover's process is intense and the witnessing requires a significant renewal of self-grounding on my part.  I find myself moving slightly (maintaining stillness is a norm in the practice) to what I witness.  This standing and moving is necessary for me to stay present and unattached.  I have an impression of myself being a samurai; knees are bent, feet wide apart, arms bent in front of me as if protecting my dantian, my torso, my 'home'.

Embody:  to give a concrete form to; express, personify, or exemplify in concrete form: (to embody an idea in an allegorical painting.); to provide with a body; incarnate; make corporeal: (to embody a spirit);  to collect into or include in a body; organize;incorporate; to embrace or comprise.  Merriam-Webster Dictionary

What does it mean to embody something?  M-W Dictionary says it in a cerebral way above.  Embodiment is quite the opposite of cerebral.  Embodiment is a full integration of parts; parts of an understanding we hold in varied aspects of ourselves.  Embodiment is to fully live or express something complete.  To be embodied is to be ourselves as we are meant to be in that moment.  To be a complete expression in movement, verbalization,  or visualization.  For anything to be embodied is for it to be perfectly Whole, to be exactly as it is meant to be.  This usually doesn't look or sound like what we  imagine the expression to be.  And yet, it rings absolutely true when it is expressed.  Embodiment can not be forced or created. It creates itself.  It's the timely accumulation in experiencing the suffering and joy of our material over our continuum, and the benefit of having lived the rules.

My witnessed mover has moved out of the moving space and is now witnessing.  I enter the space as a mover, running, skipping, jumping lightly, releasing any held tense material.  I circle and bend and turn and feel absolute lightness and joy.  My face feels open and ecstatic.  I become aware of another who has entered the circle.  She is following me;  it actually feels like I am being stalked.  I feel she wants a part of me.  It comes to me that this needs to be confronted.  I stop circling and stand in my samurai pose.  I am surprised at how relaxed and unafraid I feel.  The other mover doesn't hesitate to move into my body and attach.  The primary guidelines for contact in AM-- to move slowly, wait for cues that mutual engagement is desired by all parties, has not been maintained.  My samurai arms move swiftly up disengaging the mover.  I feel angry at the violation. 

I later describe this experience in the circle.  The other mover reacts and starts to justify her actions.  Before she starts to speak, I want to ask her to take three breaths before speaking so as to enter herself, the cell memory of her experience.  But I am too slow and also, this would be irregular to do this.  She is defensive, reactive, not clear in her verbalization.  She forgets or doesn't know the AM guideline to attempt to be in oneself (one's embodiment?) while talking about a movement experience, as she was in the actual movement.  She forgets or doesn't know that witnessing response to a mover is always in service to the mover not themselves as witness.  When this (difficult) effort is made, the verbalization becomes an extension of the movement experience instead of outside the movement experience.

The concepts of following the rules and being embodied seem antithetical on the surface.  But they are related, part of the same process.  We have our attitudes about words, like "rules" and "embodiment".  When these attitudes relax into an open inquiry, a word and its previously assumed meaning becomes an unknown.  It isn't attached to the attitude any longer.  I can have a different, fresh experience of it.

Not living the simple guidelines/rules of AM practice agreed upon by a group of movers/witnesses, can have dire consequences; even in 'mature' and seasoned groups.  When the rules are relaxed in groups where the trust level is high amongst the members, a certain vigilance and integrity also relaxes.  Sometimes it results in a further spaciousness, an expansion of possibility.  Sometimes it leads to a 'no one being home' situation, and a drop in meta support of its members and the container's safety.  In groups that don't have a seasoned foundation, people get stepped on, bumped into, (not usually serious) injuries can ensue, as well as the obvious psychological repercussions of not being seen, felt or respected through "accident".  Unwanted contact can feel like a violation.  Unwanted, unembodied verbal witnessing in a circle cheapens the mover's experience and can feel like a violation.  Rules in the form are not arbitrary, but provide safety in a circle of movers, seasoned or not.

No matter how mature one is in a practice or art form, returning to and letting go of the rule's of the form is necessary. As one becomes more seasoned, they are a light reference point touched upon and released.  As in all rules maintained in society and elsewhere, one doesn't have to think of them, they are well established in our interior.  When this is mature in us, embodiment of a material and of ourselves is possible, in large part to the safety of the rules we have integrated over time and practice.  How do I know where I am in this way?  Our self-awareness becomes more refined with practice.  I begin to see the natural adherence and letting go of the guidelines and the oblique repercussions.  This is my maturity, my seasonedness.  This is how I know where I am in the practice.

Memory and the Body (Part II)

As an umbrella term including all age related cognitive impairments, dementia in industrial and developing countries is epidemic. The number of cases of dementia worldwide in 2010 was estimated at 35.6 million.(1) Rates increase significantly with age, with dementia affecting 5% of the population older than 65 and 20–40% of those older than 85. (2)  While western medicine is trying to figure out the "cure" and management for this condition, it also would be useful to understand and explore the energetics and the relationship of the culture at-large to this malady.

In science terms, what is happening to those experiencing some form of dementia?  This is a neurological disease, meaning that the neurons and the connections in the body that serve them (synapses, transmission factors) are impaired.  This may be due to an accumulation of protein plaques as part of normal aging, atrophy of vessels effecting subtle communications to the brain, inflammation, inadequate blood sugar, and traumatic brain injury.  In energetic terms, it could be said, there is a block or impingement in the flow of qi or prana:  an energetic (and organic) circulation problem.

We are energetic beings living in layers upon layers of an energy charged world. We are influenced by these layers of energy (universal and material) and we concurrently influence the macrocosmos in how we tend and don't tend our own energy fields.  Life force (the condition of our energy fields, qi, prana) is thinnest at both ends of life's spectrum: infancy and old age.  Because of this, these two populations (as well as the ill) are extremely sensitized to energy.  They are practically osmotic in their internal reception to energy.     They are supremely (non-cognitively) aware of surrounding tensions and are impacted profoundly by even mild (negative, tense) stimulation.  In past posts, when I have mentioned the term "a deeper listening capacity", these populations are living there.  Not out of choice (which would be ours if we choose to nourish that in ourselves) but because their energy fields are thin (or "holey"); there is little to no buffer for them. For most of the rest of us, we have the buffers of ego and personality which usually supersede  these delicate places.  The daily dying we do, the moving in and out of sleep and dream states, straddling these (energy?) "other" worlds are transitions those experiencing dementia obliquely traverse.

For the infant and elderly populations, cognition and reason are not available (not developed yet or disease altered).  Hence, an experience of pain does not always register through the brain's pathways, but is nonetheless energetically experienced.  The sensitized "outsider" looking on would recognize its manifestation as irritability, restlessness, uncharacteristic (negative-based) behaviors.  Between 25% and 50% of older adults experience persistent pain. Seniors with dementia experience the same prevalence of conditions likely to cause pain as the elderly without dementia. Pain is often overlooked in older adults and, when screened for, often poorly assessed, especially among those with dementia since they become incapable of informing others that they're in pain. Beyond the issue of humane care, unrelieved pain has functional implications. Persistent pain can lead to decreased ambulation, depressed mood, sleep disturbances, impaired appetite and exacerbation of cognitive impairment, and pain-related interference with activity is a factor contributing to falls in the elderly. (3)

In the dementia literature, it is stated 40-50% of patients with the illness are depressed.  From my observations, depression and anxiety are prevalent as a past history in these patients.  What's first, the 'chicken or the egg' is the question that comes to me.  From a qi perspective, experiences of anxiety and depression are blocks in the flow of emotional health; it is the plaque in our feeling center that prevents joy, gratitude and acceptance.  Whereas there is an organic, physical/mental atrophy present in dementia progression, considering the flow of qi, life force in our emotional lives is also an imperative.

Finally, one of the things not often considered in the global dementia epidemic, is the place of the larger community.  For those in robust health, entertaining the notion we all are dying a little bit each day, navigating the dying process through dream states, minute loss of one function or another, is difficult to entertain.  As was said, we have the ego and personality buffers that are considerably removed from the truth of momentary dying.  But putting ourselves in the experience of one with cognitive deficits, means to enter that supremely sensitized energy state.  It is possible to straddle the cognitively 'clear' world one lives in while being in a rich and interesting relationship with someone who doesn't have those attributes.  It means listening more deeply, becoming more observant to energy manifestations and intrigued by the being that Is.  It means detaching a bit from what I think is Real.  It means setting aside my preconceived ideas as to what is meaningful and the probable emphasis on rational thought.

1.  Alzheimer's Disease International (2009). World Alzheimer Report 2009. p. 38. Retrieved 11 March 2012.

2.  Sadock, Benjamin James Sadock, Virginia Alcott (2008).Kaplan & Sadock's concise textbook of clinical psychiatry (3rd ed.). Philadelphia: Wolters Kluwer/Lippincott Williams & Wilkins. p. 52. ISBN 978-0-7817-8746-8.

3. Hadjistavropoulos, T et al.; Herr, K; Turk, DC; Fine, PG; Dworkin, RH; Helme, R; Jackson, K; Parmelee, PA et al. (2007). "An interdisciplinary expert consensus statement on assessment of pain in older persons". Clinical Journal of Pain 23 (1 suppl): S1–43. doi:10.1097/AJP.0b013e31802be869. PMID 17179836 

Shega, J; Emanuel, L; Vargish, L; Levine, S.K.; Bursch, H; Herr, K; Karp, J.F.; Weiner, D.K. (2007). "Pain in persons with dementia: complex, common, and challenging". Journal of Pain 8(5): 373–8. doi:10.1016/j.jpain.2007.03.003. PMID 17485039.

Blyth, F; Cumming, M.R.; Mitchell, P; Wang, J.J. (2007). "Pain and falls in older people". European Journal of Pain 11 (5): 

Memory and the Body (Part I)

There are so many ways to look at a person.  As clinicians, we tend to look at clients or patients as being their deficits or their strengths (maybe as humans we tend to look at most everything and everyone in this way).  And with this assessment of deficits and strengths comes a clinical intelligence that tends to pigeonhole or make biased, non-elastic critiques.

"Clinical intelligence" becomes rather stupid in this way, mostly because it is rigid and non-curious.  It's the human condition to do this; to rely on a knowledge base (often skewed) to know someone.  We all do this, usually out of our cultural indoctrination. This is why the developmentally delayed, physically challenged, ancient/aged, person of "difference" becomes almost invisible, is ignored or discounted and easily subject to abuse or neglect.  They are not seen in their entirety.

What we all have in common as human beings is a muscle, cellular memory, an aspect of our being that stays intact even when the normal markers of "intelligence" (cognition, reason, memory) is no longer available.  One can experience this body memory through the event of having a practice (like yoga, qigong or tai chi), losing it for a time and then coming back to it.  While "away" from the practice, if one is somewhat sensitive, one notices the change in movement patterns, balance and general flow. Regaining the practice, it is notable to see the general improvement in respiration and agility.  It's remarkable.  The body remembers with repetition.  The cells rally and behave in concert, muscle tissue responds.  This is possible even in the ancient and infirm, the unfit and generally passive body. When a muscle is repeatedly required to mobilize itself, even in the most weakened self, it gets stronger, it does what it is supposed to do, because it remembers through repetition (practice). This cell/muscle memory doesn't forget entirely even in a dormant state.  A reminder (repetition) has it soon responding to its nature and its natural design.

This is a good argument for parents to encourage their children's natural propensities and for people in general to know their own natures, gifts and truths (and hopefully spend a lifetime exploring them).  The natural design in our neurons, chemistry and physicality is also present in our psych, spirit and soul's memory.  What is natural in a person, is the flow of the person.  What flows freely in a person is a manifestation of their natural cellular memory, which can be relied upon time and again. This is their true intelligence. Coming out of a surgery, experiencing terrible pain could be helped by knowing a person's nature.  Those who are kinesthetic-based, touch oriented would be supported by touch.  Those who are auditory, a musician, lover of music, could be distracted (pleasurably) by music.  Those who have a lifelong practice of yoga breathing, could be helped to return to that in that moment of need.

From this point of view, the loss of cognitive memory is but an aspect of the whole.  The "usual" (memory) is not accountable, but one's deep truth embedded in one's cells and muscle memory is reliable.  Much of the (subtle energetic) trauma present in institutional care is the disregard of this wholeness, the lack of recognition and hence denial of a person's natural Being.  When this is seen and allowed to manifest, a fuller healing, even a flourishing transpires.  In this significant period of vulnerability, the subtle (cell memory) can go unrecognized, even become invisible.

Who advocates for the Wholeness in a person in this vulnerable circumstance?  Healthcare providers are the mechanics of the medical nuts and bolts in the institutional stay. Realistically, they have their hands full monitoring the science and administrative factors of the healing.  For them to have an understanding of the energetics of healing, well then you've got a super person on your team. The subtler aspects of healing most often falls on family and trusted others. Their presence at the bedside is not to "protect" the mechanical medical care of the loved one (health professionals pretty much know what they are doing), but to ensure this internal flow, cellular memory is accessible in the healing process. The more a patient can access their flow (sense of humor, their joie de vivre, nature), the more complete their healing process can be.  Without it, healing takes longer and generally is incomplete, one's vital nature having not been included.

The deep seated memory in the body is for us to recognize, mine and appreciate.  But first we must remember and understand that it is ours to be had.

MAKING WAVES: Alexander Technique and the undulating self

Aileen Crow, is a woman whom I consider one of my "mothers", and whom has been an invaluable mentor (and friend/"playmate") to me for over twenty years.  In my mind she is the quintessential "maverick", who has modeled and taught credibility through self-ownership; that is, when one is true to oneself, there can be only rightness (in relation to bodywork and everything else).  Aileen is someone I have worked and played with with the greatest of intensity.  She meets you.  She matches you.  Brilliantly.  Even when the vibration is extremely (unbearably?) deep or profound.  Aileen is a Master.  For me, she is a model of love, gratitude, appreciation and most of all Joy.  She walks her own truth and is absolute in her permissiveness that you walk your own. It is my great pleasure to print here, respective writings she produced in 1992 (Inner Flow and the Spiraling Spinal Wave) and for the Alexander Technique International Conference on Consensus, (Making Waves), 1996.

"We all know that the Alexander Technique [AT] leads to expansiveness and lightness. Once we attain that, what do we do with it?  If we just maintain an expanded shape or a state of expansion and lightness, it is static.  Oscillation and inner movement define control of movement impulses and its torso held in one piece sometimes looks like an elegant empty suit.  In our desire for "good use," we must be careful not to eliminate the fluidity of movement that allows torso rotation and undulatory, spiraling movements of the spine.

To make contact with the flow of inner movement impulses is essential for actors, dancers and singers--- for anyone who wants to make emotional contact with others.  The inner movement impulses communicate emotions.  Often involuntary and spontaneous, they may not suit our self-images, but they have their own reason for being and if they are ignored they will reappear in symptoms or in dreams until their wisdom is received and integrated into our lives.

In a cross-cultural study of movement styles, the Choreometrics Project (1) demonstrated that the world can be mapped into areas defined by two different body attitudes.  One is a one-unit torso, associated with patrilineal control of sexuality.  The other is a two-unit torso, with twisting and undulating, from matrilineal cultures in which sexuality and fertility are valued. FM Alexander lived and taught within a Northern European one-unit torso culture; the limited range of movements used in his teaching and in most Alexander teaching today reflects the attitude toward sexuality inherent in that culture.

If Alexander's principles are cross-culturally valid, Alexander lessons should include movements that use three dimensional torso twists, spirals, and spinal waves; and not be limited to those that maintain a straight spined, one-unit, flat torso that only folds and unfolds at the hip joints (as in 'monkey').  Unfortunately, many people see that carefully maintained (if high class) limitation as a cliched 'Alexandraoid' look.

Every bone, muscle and organ in our bodies have a three dimensional spiral to it; there are no straight lines.  Even our DNA spirals.  From conception, living tissue is formed from spiraling, flowing plasma.  Anything that flows, spirals. (2)

The design of the human body is that of muscles in a double spiral pattern - left and right twin spirals - around the bony structure (3,4) with its wave-like spine.  And or bodies move in complex spirals and waves, if they are not culturally conditioned otherwise.

Any such influence that restricts the  natural fluidity of the body also tends to isolate the individual and distort emotional communication within their human relationships.  We naturally move in synchrony with each other on a micro-movement level (5). People with communication disorders are out of movement synchrony with themselves and with others.

In parts of the world characterized by a two-unit torso (such as parts of the Middle East, Africa and India), undulating movement promotes communal harmony.  In the Middle East, it is a way of passing on the skills that inform sexual communication; women wave/dance together in unison, forming harmonious support groups for themselves; and women wave/dance around a woman as she gives birth, to encourage her.

I personally feel that the relationship problems within the Alexander community are related to a mistaken idea of what 'good use' is.  Carefully maintaining an ideal body state or shape restricts fluidity and sets up a hierarchical mind-over-body relationship within the individual because of the constant need to control inferior, non-ideal body impulses.  Maintaining the Alexander ideal of good use necessitates inhibiting any movement impulses incongruent to that ideal.  Those incongruities may very well be the body wanting to speak its mind, perhaps expressing dissatisfaction at having 'one right way imposed on it by even a benevolent director.  The unwanted bodily impulses may be offering another point of view, or counter examples to the ideal, or even new discoveries and new connections that could benefit the total person.

That's analogous to the political situation in the Alexander community, with its problematic concerns about who's in and who's out, and who gets to approve of and controls whom, etc.

It is also interesting to me that so many Alexander teachers are doing Authentic Movement in which spontaneous 'incongruent' movement impulses are followed and expressed until they yield their indispensable meaning. I hope this ATI conference work on Consensus will help lead the Alexander community to this kind of complementary [alignment] and to a broader cross-cultural identity."

(1)  The Choreometrics Project, Forestine Paulay and Irmgard Bartenieff in Folk Song Style and Culture, Alan Lomax, American Association for the Advancement of Science, 1968
(2)  Sensitive Chaos, Theodor Schwenk, Rudolf Steiner Press, 1965.
(3)  The Double Spiral Arrangement of Voluntary Musculature, Raymond A.Dart, Human Potenial, Vol. 1, No.2, 1968
(4)  Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation, M. Knott and D. Voss Harper & Row, 1968.
(5)  Cultural Microrhythms, William S.Condon, Interaction Rhythms, edited by Martha Davis, Human Sciences Press, NY 1982.

Aileen Crow has been an Alexander teacher since 1969.  She taught at ACAT in New York City until she formed her own AT training program in 1978.  She is a Creativity Counselor in private practice in NYC and in New City, NY, is a Laban Movement Analyst (since 1969) and a Dreambody Process-Oriented therapist.   Her most recent interests are calligraphy, Solo Focusing and transforming trauma.

Aileen's more recent writings have been in A Moving Journal (1993-2006 ),  AuthenticMovementCommunity Blog, and the Journal of Authentic Movement and Somatic  Inquiry (JAMSI) AuthenticMovement.Journal.com.

Unimitable Aileen at Play

Leaning On

There are times when a leaning on is necessary.  No longer able to be a free standing part (at least temporarily), a wall, another becomes mandatory to rest upon.  It's a relief, if not an unfamiliar self-reckoning.  We take comfort in something/ someone taking the weight.  The image to the left here is a wonderful example of a spiraling reliance.  Very separate (yet related), distinct components bearing the weight of the whole. Everything is in balance, everything dependent on everything else to create a whole. Without the cooperative parts, the balance, the miracle of its wholeness would be lost.

And so it is now, as many of us soften into the darkness of the short days, relinquishing the more sentinel vertical we prop ourselves up at other times of the year. We lean on a fire at the hearth, music of the season, cultural ritual, even the warmth from a winter coat.  This time of year calls us back, asks us to return to that which is more still.  Interestingly, the hoopla and frenetic energy seems to go arm in arm with the quiet beckoning.  Contrasts.  Paradoxes.

" All truths wait in all things."-- Walt Whitman

In our confusion and tension over these paradoxes and the grief of losses, current and past, the stillness appears to be the thing we lean on.  Mercy. The words of others appear as solace.  That which is burdened, wounded, in sorrow rests.  Poetry surfaces.  Art becomes a salve to the spirit.  Wisdom and courage are found in unlikely forums:  a child's observation, a store clerk's calm and benevolent smile, the poignant wit of an elder.  Breath re-enters, becomes more spacious having lost some tension.  Fear and intrepidation take a break.

"Morally, spiritually, we are fettered.  What have we achieved in mowing down mountain ranges, harnessing the energy of mighty rivers, or moving whole populations about like chess pieces, if we ourselves remain the same restless, miserable, frustrated creatures we were before?  To call such activity progress is utter delusion.  We may succeed in altering the face of the earth until it is unrecognizable even to the Creator, but if we are unaffected wherein lies the meaning?  Meaningful acts require no stir.  When things are going to rack and ruin the most purposeful act may be to sit still."-- Arthur Miller

Leaning On.  A respite.  Meaningful acts require no stir.

The Arts and Health

For many people, accepting the undeniable relationship between a non-toxic environment to good health is pretty easy.  Without clean air and water, nutritious food, the possibility of good health is questionable.  People are unlikely to argue there is no relationship between these two factors  But to make a parallel between robust Arts engagement in a culture and good health is a bigger leap.  Why is this?  Primarily, the Arts in schools and in a culture are considered a "frill" or negligible.  In a world straining to make greater in-roads on science and math (an admitted well-paved bridge to health), the Arts are considered a superficial entertainment or past time.  I want to challenge this.

I recently attended a dinner party where the subject of government forgiveness of student loans came up.  One person suggested young people who had acquired science and math degrees should have their loans forgiven, as their skill sets would be necessary for the competitive economic future of the country.  The inevitable, "What about the kids with photography degrees?" point was played and the answer was, "We don't need more photographers, they're a dime a dozen.  Liberal/fine arts majors should have thought to have gotten a more useful, sensible degree."

"Art doesn't transform. It just plain forms."--Roy Lichtenstein

For those of us who have explored our creativity through our lifetime, survived high school and young adulthood because of the open art classroom, patiently learned the beguiling centering process on a potter's wheel,  or experimented with fascination the technological edges of photography as a  medium because we were so entirely bored with rote learning-- words like that diner's, well they are an ignorant, demeaning and dangerous insinuation, a dagger to the heart (if I may be allowed some dramatic license) to what makes people human.  For those who have sacrificed financial gain in a greed-centric culture, committing to be an artist, often at a great cost, or for those who have played with music or poetry-making on weekends to maintain their mental health, the arts are an imperative need for the feeding of Spirit, part of the process of an entire culture's evolution and yes, our health.

A physiotherapist I know has made the possibly edgy statement that all people no matter what condition their bodies are in, are athletes.  So it is also, all people are artists.  Some might not be able to draw realistically, or have a great spatial sense, nonetheless they/we are all  artists because we all are beings of spirit.  All human beings have this major aspect of Spirit embedded in themselves.  We come pre-loaded.  If this is not explored in one way or other, if our creativity is not employed in our lives, we become less, and what animates us is at risk.  This is health.  It is a sublime and often invisible reality each of us lives. It should never be discounted or marginalized, as that diner (and probably so many other 'practical' others) would have us do.  Creativity is a commodity. The arts ultimately determine the success of a culture (the beauty, peace and questioning manifested).

The creative in oneself gives the subtle aspects of ourselves room.  Seeing a play, going to a concert, watching exquisitely trained dancers on a stage provides us with a spacious experience, broadens an often shut-down, or at the very least, limited perspective.  The vitality of expression resonates with one's spirit vitality.  Energetically, vibration is transferred, exchanged; we are renewed, replenished.  Is this not health?  Is there not a direct correlation to one's health and creative exploration?

"I do not want ART for a few any more than education for a few, or freedom for a few."  
William Morris 

Which brings us to the Right brain/Left brain aspect of ourselves.  For most of us, one hemisphere of our brains is dominant over the other. "Left-brained" is often said to be more logical, analytical and objective, while a person who is "right-brained" is said to be more intuitive, thoughtful and subjective. Science has shown, when both halves of the brain work together math skills are actually strongest.  We have this entire physiology to use, appreciate and honor.

My points above about art are not so much about differences in "brain-ness", but about fulfilling spirit in our lives, an important part of our physiology that is under the radar, but which impacts our actions, our mental well being, our health. It is my sense that the diner who failed to appreciate arts expression (or education) isn't so much left brained, but weak in a more spacious thinking capacity, someone who hasn't had the good fortune of a broad(minded) education (something a good liberal arts education would have given him).  I recall once watching a completely alive three year old for over 45 minutes as she explored with a limitless, nimble imagination, her world.  Talking to herself, she being the main character in a story she was deeply evolving, jumping up participating in a hand sewing endeavor for awhile, rolling out of that to put marker to page, drawing connections.  What a learning!  What a way to discover the world and herself!  Of course, creative play is more acceptable for children, than it is for adults.  But that is a culture more; exploring creativity is essential in every part of one's life continuum.  Seeing "brain-ness" as a complete package rather than a positive or negative (depending on propensity) is an inclusive, non-violent acceptance of the whole of me.

"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." -- Albert Einstein

(Hu)Man & Beast: Soul Relationship

The human relationship with domestic animals has changed somewhat in the last 50 years.  In a family’s hierarchy (hierarchy in a family being imperative through the 1970s), family pets were loved but not always respected or revered.  They were a comfort-convenience for everyone on a higher rung of the family ladder-- for solace, play-pleasure and lesson learning.  In these intervening years, life has changed for the family pet.  Vegetarian-veganism is no longer a fad but a common lifestyle choice, often related to the raised auspices of animals.  There are more single people and more frequent divorce than fifty years ago.  Pets have become Family, sometimes the only family many people turn toward for companionship and love.  These phenomenon are reflected in the recession-proof pet market.  Climbing every year markedly, the US pet industry currently makes over $50 billion per annum ($17 billion in 1994) on not only essentials like food, but accessories, clothing, play things all meant for their owners to buy as a means to express their love and appreciation.


“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”  ― Mark Twain

Whereas, it appears people in relation to other people are becoming more and more clueless about what constitutes relationship, intimacy, human-understanding, as well as an ever decreasing impulse control (technology related?), animals for the most part remain an unconditional constant in their human’s existence.  Many animal lovers have given up on their human counterparts (or themselves), the repeated pain of disappointment too alienating.  Animals have become the elusive partner, the soul mate many people miss in their relationships with others in their lifetime.

“If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.” 
― Woodrow Wilson

Animals like humans are pure energy. Animal’s energy capacity is more simple; their totality, unlike humans doesn’t stray into complex cerebral function. What they miss in reasoning skills they make up in sensory superiority. Auditory function in dogs is two to three times more powerful than humans.  They hear 40-60 kHz; the very best humans are able to hear is up to 20 kHz (possibly why active listening is a challenge for many of us?).  Marine mammals have an impressive 75-150,000  kHz capacity.  Animals are able to sense the world in a way that humans cannot, with some species able to sense electrical and magnetic fields, detect water pressure and currents, electroreception and detection of polarized light. Their sensory mechanisms could be said to be awesome, something we humans are becoming more and more dependent (upon them) as we suffer today’s daily desensitizing sensory overload.  It is little wonder these beings provide so much comfort and satisfaction to us in our lack.  In them, we often return to ourselves.

“I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.”   ― Abraham Lincoln

Our pets have become our personal in-house energy seers; responsive, aware beings to our human need.  It's incredible to think Descartes believed animals feel no pain because of their cognitive/conscious deficits (but then again, he was so wrong about so many things that still hang on as truth today after hundreds of years).  It is a credit to modern man that the birds and beasts of today have more basic rights than yesteryear and especially an acknowledgement of their importance of place within the culture.  In our spotty global consciousness we have at least started to become willing to protect their basic interests, which in turn protects our basic mental/spirit health.