The Lunch Rut: A Renewed Curiosity Outside the Box

One of the reasons we get into ruts is that we stop feeling curiosity and become unacquainted with our life force.  It's an odd occurrence if you think about it.  Why wouldn't we want to feel everyday the excitement and higher vibration that is available in our life?  We become slaves to a routine, a schedule, the patterns that "work" for us, including our daily food intake, exercise, even bathing rituals.

One of the prominent ruts we find ourselves in is the breakfast and lunch rut.  For many, what they eat for breakfast is absolutely routine and unchanged for years.  I know some adults who now cannot abide oatmeal, as they had it everyday of their childhoods.  For many, the car is practically on autopilot to their nearest Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks on the way to work.  There is comfort in having these patterns; they've become rituals, a preparation our inner life almost depends on to bear the boredom or sameness that they are meeting everyday.  For better or worse, these are habits we cling to, often at the expense of the subliminal life force that begs for something different, found in the curiosity of what is now, how I am on this new day and what I might need.  We habitually turn to the familiar as we are far from the caring for the immediate self and we desperately want  something easy, fast and (usually) mindless so we don't have to take the trouble to drop into ourselves.

So breakfasts become a hot grain, granola with fruit, yogurt is a common addition. Every so often for variety of flavor and nutrition, it's a good idea to switch up your oatmeal.  This activity opens the palette and curiosity.  Would cinnamon or cardamon or turmeric go well with millet or amaranth?  what's the best fruit with it?  The trial and error is an interesting process, and it's nice to get to know a new anything.  Most of our breakfasts are sweet, rarely savory.  How different is it for the body to start the day savory as opposed to sweet.  In my experience, sweet wants more sweet, calls for it during the day.  Savory is more a blank canvas and doesn't set me up for "like" during the day like sweet does.

With breakfasts, rarely do you see vegetables. SAD (Standard American Diet) breakfast is usually high in complex/simple carbs and proteins.  Open your hearts and mind.  Vegetables can be a soothing addition, as I found on a trip to China.  Vegetables (baby bok choy and spinach specifically) are at every meal there.  And it was the only food I ate that was reliably good from meal to meal.  By week three, dreading the 100th Chinese meal (not ever my favorite cuisine) of the trip, I always thought, well, at least there will be the simple, delicious, bok choy and spinach.  Since that trip, I regularly include vegetables in my breakfasts. In fact, I sometimes exclusively eat them for breakfast.  They're clean and sustaining; a good way to start the day.  I found a gorgeous head of baby kale at the farmer's market, sauteed it up with some garlic, tahini (protein) and a shot or two of tamari.  So good.  For those wanting more protein, dry roasting some nuts of choice topping it off that way, or some sauteed mushrooms (high in protein) with favored fresh herbs.  Adding some heat via a hot sauce with yogurt on the side is another version.

For those devoted to their oatmeal, other  hot cereal or granola every morning, try adding some innocuous cooked squash (acorn, butternut, delicata), throw in a few frozen cranberries, use maple syrup (lower glycemic value) instead of sugar or honey, add roasted/unroasted seeds or nuts.  These additions not only give you more vegetables and whole foods in the day, they up the nutritional anty of the meal; always a good thing.  these veg don't collide; they are sweet and gentle and not loud.  They know how to elevate the hero of the meal.

Lunch ruts.  I remember (not so fondly) the years and years and YEARS of the routine sandwich.  Followed by the years and years and YEARS of boxed salads.  Ugh.  So tired.  Organic lettuce in a big see- through box has become popular because its so convenient.  But that's all it is.  There is no flavor to be found there and it's totally uninspiring.  So disappointing.  If you are enthusiastic about salads, you'll burn out fairly fast unless you change it up.  Slaws are flavorful, variations relate to all seasons, can be a complete meal and can be pretty to gorgeous in appearance.  They even improve in flavor on day 2 and even day 3. And with roasted cashews spilled over the top, well that's an invitation to nirvana. Using good, honest real lettuce makes a real salad.  Using a blend of three types of leaves makes it more interesting; include texture and color in your choice (ie: raddichio, endive, tender chard). Scissor in some fresh herbs like basil, tarragon, mint; it brightens the flavor.  Don't even think about dressing it with a bought bottle.  No matter it's organic. Simple apple cider or balsamic vinegar after drizzling evoo (extra virgin olive oil), add (pink) salt and pepper.  Clean, bright and delicious. A simple half of a perfectly ripe avocado, salt and pepper, with a squeeze of lemon is the height of luxury and satisfaction.  Chop up a bit of tomato sprinkle it over the avocado with some fresh parsley, cilantro or basil and you have a love variation encapsulated.

Soups are a winter staple, but can wear out their welcome after the 2nd or 3rd month of overuse.  Believe it or not, counterintuitively, going streamlined simple is a way to address thick, hearty winter soup burnout.  Miso is easy and full of nutrition; scoop a tablespoon from the miso box and pour boiling water over it, mixing well.  Top with scallions, tofu if you must and some scissored fresh herbs like chive to makes a complete impression.  Likewise, roasted beef bones made into a deep, rich broth with some rice noodles and scallions is another thin soup that packs a hearty wallop, enriching kidney chi to boot.  Variations would be to add some thin sliced jalapeño pepper, a squeeze of lime, whole tai basil, cilantro, bean sprouts and parsley gives a filling impression to our yearning selves.

Proteins proteins proteins.  We're obsessed with getting our proteins.  Nutritionally, proteins are needed in small amounts.  A portion of animal protein should only be the size of a deck of cards.  Nuts and legumes or whole grain (ie: rice)  make a complete protein.  Again, not a huge amount gives you what is required.  7-10 nuts with a quarter cup of cooked rice does it.  In these terms, proteins become a condiment-size to a meal not the big kahuna.  Proteins ARE in vegetables and herbs as well. Check the nutrition content in herbs I listed in my last post, Herbs: Nutrient packed flavor.  It was surprising to me how much protein is found there and in many greens.

The old standby lunch foods wedged between two pieces of bread (egg, tuna, chicken salad) have other possibilities than what we once knew.  We're used to a dense tuna, chicken, egg salad.  Dense in texture and flavor, combined with usually sub-prime mayonnaise.  In this state, we're used to eating 3 or more eggs at a sitting, or almost a full can of tuna.  Give some breath to these old standbys.  Combine any of these proteins with several vegetables.  Radish, dakon, scallion, 1-2 herbs, chopped spinach, celery, onion, different colored peppers, shredded carrot, capers, pickles.  The choices are almost limitless.  Your final effort should yield 1/3 protein to 2/3 veg.  Keep it all together lightly; a little yogurt/mayo combo (flavored with chive, curry, mustard, hot sauce, etc).  Or try a little evoo (extravirgin olive oil), balsamic, salt and pepper.  It doesn't have to be dense.  It begs not to be dense.  Take one or two gorgeous, generous pieces of whole lettuce (or delicate chard, young kale leaf), put a few tablespoons of the protein mix on it and roll it, tucking in ends like an egg roll or burrito to make a fat cigar shape.  It keeps it all together, is a delightful size and easy to handle, plus the addition of the lettuce gives you more vegetable/fiber.  Pack a few of them for lunch.  They keep and travel well.  You can add toasted seeds or nuts, a little grated cheese to the filling.  If you need more complex flavor, make a dipping sauce that is related to the "moistener" of the contents (i.e.: curried yogurt, evoo/vinegar).  Once one's attitude is altered to protein possibilities and portions and the larger role vegetables should play in our daily diet, we start to think differently, be more creative, think outside the (lunch) box.

If you are able, keeping a few often-used products in a work desk drawer is handy.  A small olive oil bottle to refill as needed, a small favorite vinegar, a whole lemon, an avocado for the week, some dry roasted nuts (an additional salted variety) and/or seeds, some pink salt, a piece of whole fruit or two, some dried fruit.  These can stave off raiding the snack machine indefinitely.  When you open the lemon, throw the used part into a glass of water to get a subtly spunky drink and some alkaline while you're at it.

Having a melt down?  Winter blues setting in? A sorrow anniversary has come around again?  Comfort and joy is required.  We don't have to turn to mac and cheese, sugar cookies and icecream to assuage the low spirits.  We've grown up and we have other options (some of these can be used for lunch as well!).

The simple ("gift of the gods") sweet potato, baked to carmelized perfection hits the spot.  Just bake it 400 degrees for a real long time, 1-1.5 hours, and eat (melts in your mouth goodness).  You don't even have to add butter, but if you have to, you have to.  Adding cinnamon at the end is a treat as well (good antioxidant, too).  While we're on veg, the good ole winter standby of roasted root vegetables is good hot or cold.  Potato, onion, carrots, parsnips, yams, beets, rhutabaga turnips.  Cut one of each up in pleasing shapes and sizes, toss all with olive oil, salt, pepper, fresh rosemary,  and thyme.  Bake in one layer on a cookie sheet at 400 degrees for 1h+; flip them midway.  They are really yummy if they're browned nicely; this means giving them lots of room on the pan, lots of heat space in-between components (might need two cookie sheets). If you make this a lot, try varying the vegetable (ie: pearl onions whole instead of sliced onions, parsnips instead of carrots, etc.).  Because roasted veg is always good, it's the perfect time to try unfamiliar vegetables like rutabagas, turnips, brussel sprouts, even cauliflower;  it's almost impossible to mess up roasted vegetables. Variation experiment with hot sauce, herb variations.  "Himmel und Erde” which means “Heaven and Earth, is a great German comfort food.  Equal parts potato, turnip, apple, peeled (if you have to), boiled together, mash w/ evoo or butter, salt and pepper, splash of (butter)milk or dollop of yogurt, maybe a little cinnamon. Yes, it's where heaven and earth meet, that is for sure.

Moving onto the complex carb hankering... ah, pasta; it in the past has assuaged all forms of boredom, depression, frustration and anger.  Weather unrelenting?  A bowl of pasta is a very good defense.  But, we know how habit forming this is (breaks down into sugars quickly, begging for more before long).  So, a good alternative is baked spagetti squash, turned out of shell, evoo'd, salt and pepper, topped with  homemade tomato sauce (opague some onions and garlic in evoo, throw in some cut up tomatoes or whole cherry tomatos, himalayan pink salt, red pepper flakes. scissor some fresh herbs--basil, parsley).  Sautee some wonderful. fresh mushrooms with sherry, top the squash with this dynamic duo. Bliss it out with shaved parmagiano.  Go to heaven.  

Then there is always the satisfying bowl of rice.  Leave the white rice behind for now and choose brown rice, dirty rice, black rice, Lundberg's red rice, etc.  Grate a couple of teaspoons of fresh romano over it, drizzle with olive oil, pink salt and pepper, fresh chopped herbs of your choice (cilantro, parsley, thyme) and some toasted nuts/seeds. It is the best comfort food there is especially if you're in a mood... lots of vitamin B in there to help with the lows.

Sour moods call for sweetness to offset.  It's easy to feel guilty here, we know we're supposed to ward off sugar.  But, a little "forbidden fruit" goes a long way, and with practice, one gets used to natural sweetness, additional sugar eventually feels like overkill.  Apples cooked in a variety of ways can be very satisfying.  Apple crisp is a delight;  use a lot of seeds, nuts, crystallized ginger, cinnamon, cardamon, oats and a healthy dollop of butter in the "crisp" part; sweeten if you have to with maple syrup. This is very comforting.  To make it extra decadent, eat warm with a dollop of whipping cream or coconut creme.  Beats out in spades cheap cookies and commercial sweets.  Baked apples have a similar composition, but they come in their beautiful, compact packages (and travel well!).  They can even be had for breakfast on the run with no guilt attached.  Often a cup of hot Rooibus tea with a little honey nips the sweet hankering in the bud.  But if you're at the end of the winter and have pretty much "tea'd" yourself out, a cup of hot cocoa with a dollop of coconut creme makes the inner child very happy.  Make it fresh with high grade cocoa, try using almond or coconut milk, grate a bit of fresh ginger, sweeten with honey or maple syrup and make it very rich and dark.  Add a pinch of cinnamon and/or chili pepper to give it some heat, bringing out the flavor exponentially.  The floating cream (coconut or heavy cream) is such a nice thing to sip through.  It puts the tea-blahs in their place.

As you may tell, my food philosophy doesn't include deprivation, or rigidity; nor should yours.  There is no absolutely bad anything that nature created for our sustenance  Bringing a black and white thinking to the table of nourishing ALL of me, just clamps down on exploration and pleasure.  What we eat should be fully pleasurable, fun and nourishing to body, mind and spirit.  

These are just a few suggestions to help switch up what might have become entrenched eating habits.  Making an attitude adjustment about what constitutes lunch, comfort foods and the "main course" (proteins) and how we can include more vegetables (happily!) through our eating adventures, will help us maintain our immune systems and overall wellness.  Curiosity is key.  Experimenting with this readjusted attitude, having some fun, trying unlikely choices opens us up.  This makes us more available to what we really want to eat and how we want to be.  Surprises are around every mealtime corner.

pH: It's all about Balance

pHˌ pēˈāCH/noun--CHEMISTRY
a figure expressing the acidity or alkalinity of a solution on a logarithmic scale on which 7 is neutral, lower values are more acid, and higher values more alkaline. The pH is equal to -log10 c, where c is the hydrogen ion concentration in moles per liter.

It's almost common knowledge now (I hope), that inflammation in the body is a major reason why we develop disease (ie: cardiac disease, autoimmune, arthritis, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, cancer). An inflamed system is an ideal host for illness. In my posts, The Body as an Ecosystem and Our Second Brain, I do an education turn on the healthy/unhealthy microbes in our system and our amazing gut which, in its own way, dictate our moods and health. Hence, the importance of keeping our dietary pH balanced (leaning to alkaline) and our emotional well being optimal.

In one of my early posts, On Fire: the State of Chronic Inflammation, I talk about the acidic / alkalinic connection and there are some great links on that post providing lists of foods which are acidic and conversely, alkaline. At this link, Alkaline food chart by degree | greenopedia, is a another list of foods, organized differently (easier/less easy for some).

Most of this is intuitive, although some of it isn't. For example, you would think citrus fruits are high acid; but they are moderately high alkaline. If you look at the lists, you can probably determine where your pH is approximately, that is--- whether you are more alkaline or acidic dependent on the category of foods you eat often. Animal products, processed foods, even whole foods like barley and rice are acidic. The alkaline foods list will probably list out foods you've never tried or are unfamiliar with (i.e.: amaranth).   Our S.A.D (Standard American Diet), even when not fast food related, is highly acidic. We are walking disease time bombs.

Not to scare you.

As a health-wellness coach, I see lifestyle behaviors (ie: what we like to eat) is the most difficult thing to change long term. What we were raised on, found comfort in as children is a hard thing to pry out of our normally grasping and gasping being. It's embedded in us since forever. But, lucky for us, humans are habituated. And habits can be changed.

It is possible to change one's food preferences.  One can grow fond of (even celebrate with gusto) other foods, learn to be adventuresome in trying the unfamiliar. It is surprising when one makes the intention of having a vegetable at every meal (including breakfast) or diversifying one's meal plate with more than 5 colored fruits and vegetables.  You do this for a month, you've changed your habit. 

A habit sticks when the emotional center of ourselves gets on board. In experiencing this new habit, when resentment and resistance fall away, and happy anticipation takes its place, the new habit is almost guaranteed. One can liken it to initiating an exercise program. Yes, we hate it until we've been doing it awhile and start to reap the rewards of feeling lighter on our feet, more positive energy coursing through ourselves, a sense of elevated aliveness, perhaps even possibly experiencing regular bouts of joy (toxins clearing out of our system). A regular practice (habit) of anything takes 21-30 days to stick.

In a follow up post, I'll address the bag lunch rut and give some suggestions how to transform childhood comfort foods into healthy, life-giving adult comfort foods. Foods that are more anti-inflammatory and have a higher alkaline pH ratio.

Preparation: Procurement to Plate, the Joy of Partaking II

photo credit:  Lalu Danzker

So, you have hauled home a treasure trove of good eats from vendors with whom you have hopefully had a jolly time.  You are excited.  You are hopeful.  You are vibrating from relationship; relationship with your curious self, exquisite gifts from nature and beast, and a nourishing engagement with those who love and appreciate what they grow.  This is a happiness.  Now, in this gratitude, we consider how best to prepare these gifts.

How do we do this?  What are the influences?

The conditions vary.  We might have shopped with an idea of a meal in mind, being directive in our approach.  We might have shopped wearing our instinct, our intuition, open to what is freshest at the market.  Regardless, we have these fine resources.  I take them out and admire them once again.  I resensitize myself to their vibration, their hardiness or delicacy, their beauty.  I consider their relationship and possible combinations to each other.  I notice their "voice".  The seasoning they call for, even the way they'd liked to be cut, chopped and treated.  In my regard for them, these gifts I and others are about to receive, there is a hope to honor them and those that provided them.  But this is not a heavy honor, if anything it is a playful one.  I want to find ease, and relaxation, again my curiosity and most of all I want to have some fun.  Braise, broil, steam, bake, poach, reduce, wine or no whine?  The possibilities.  How to know what actions and in actions are needed.

Because you shopped locally and picked things with glory and vibration-- you probably picked seasonal.  And the season calls you to respond.  Spring is light and lightly aromatic.  Summer calls for bare-naked naturalness, a coolness even rawness.  Fall is deep, earthy, heavier more sustaining.  Winter is warm, daringly aromatic, rooted.

Tamar Adler's An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace has been a life changing book for me.  Life changing in the way I consider food and cooking.  One of her premises I work with all the time is the connection one meal has to the next.  The thick residue from the bottom of the pot of beans one cooked is the beginning of tomorrow's soup.  The "ends" of vegetables not used in preparation for dinner, are again, the beginning of tomorrow's soup stock.  Everything is connected, useful.  I've taken that one step further in asking myself, how are my components related?  How do I bring a thread of what is part of one component to the next, relate them, bring an overall harmony to the entirety of a meal.  The slice of lemon in water served at a meal might be echoed in a sliver or two of it's rind perched almost

imperceptibly on a piece of herb and wine-poached fish.  The basil in the herbed fish might be suggested in the spearmint (same family--Lamiaceae-- as basil) that is lightly confettied over the fresh fruit for dessert.  A lamb stew with fresh sprigs of rosemary has an almost subliminal echo in the water boiled for the accompanying rice or potatoes which you threw the stripped branches of rosemary into (to remove at the end of the cooking).  It's a hint, a light almost subconscious impression of the relationship from one component to the next. There is an endless way to carry the thread in a meal.  Staying close to curiosity and "the player" in oneself is helpful in determining the manifestation's gesture.

Another consideration is suggested by Ayurveda, an (eastern) Indian health approach.  Our tongue and palate is comprised of sensory taste receptors: sweet, salty, sour, savory (umami) and bitter.  Ayurveda cooking looks to satisfy all of these taste receptors in a meal.  So, when I cook, I try to consider that the entire meal has a balance of these five taste sensations.  Balance not being 20% of each flavor making 100% of the meal, but balance being in relation to the whole.  Hence, the development of one's culinary "palate" is inevitable.  This opens my field quite a bit.  Sweetness doesn't always have to be in dessert, but perhaps a condiment to go with the protein.  Perhaps dessert is the protein; a combination of nut-based crust and dairy filling, preceded by a thin soup and light salad; a sublimely hearty end of a meal .  Experimenting with turning the predictable on its head is, dare I say, a heady notion.

Culinary pleasure and digestion begins in our senses, especially the visual.  Hence, why care in presentation is necessary.  The gustatory sense is stopped if food is presented wrapped in greasy paper or unspecific boxes.  Considerations with the visual in mind are color, shape, size and texture.  In the plant world there are arguably 7 colors as far as palette goes (that arbitrary number is challenged as there are at least 5 variations of green alone in the edible plant world).  I try to have at least 5 colors in a meal, (for nutritional composition and visual compliment) but I always aim for 7.  I consider the "heart" of my meal and move from there.

The heart is often the protein.  My rebel self often balks at this seeming undeniable culinary truth.  I play with this notion.  And sometimes I lose.  But at least I play and I always learn.  I resist the cultural habit that meat be at every meal, be at one meal a day, one meal a week (depending on your cultural influences).  I play with the notion that meat can be treated more like a condiment, an aside, a small potent presence to the mighty diverse selection of the incredible vegetable or homey complex carb.  Sometimes it works just so and other times the heart of a meal just can't be the vegetable combination you've put together.  It's live and learn.  A very complex and hearty slaw with roasted nuts or seeds can be very central and sustaining, especially if a chewy/crusty bread and cheese accompany.  Try and succeed, try and fail, it's all great because your interest, intention and attention are active.  There are no bad meals if that is engaged during the preparation.

photo credit: Lalu Danzker

The consideration of shape, size and texture is important, but often enough not considered.  I was looking forward to trying Ethiopian food out on the town with some friends, but found that each of us were served varying flavored legume purees.  The flavors couldn't trump the solitary texture, and the bread served, although somewhat interesting (made from an ancient African grain) was not in good relationship to the pureed food, being kind of stretchy and gray.  Purees can be used to wonderful effect; they can compliment in color and texture. A light green pea puree under a delicate white fish has contrasting textures and complimentary colors.  A white parsnip puree or bright orange carrot puree is a delightful foil for a rich, darkly glazed beef or lamb.  To have something straightforward and simple accompanied by something complex in flavor is a marriage of balance.  A group of minimally touched green beans is a whole component that supports a garlic/potato mash and multi-colored/complicated stew.  Everything about it grounds the meal:  the deep green color, its untouched wholeness, its promise of lightness and simplicity, even its possible reference to a season just ended or about to begin.  It might not be the "hero" on the plate, but it makes the hero look good by its otherness.

Courage, Confidence and Wellness

We spend a lifetime searching for balance.  We learn about a new piece of dietary information; we try it out.  Science comes up with new info about our body's function; we consider this, perhaps, by modifying our behavior.  We accumulate information and try to verify an approach to our own wellness through the decades.  And if we're lucky,  something settles in us that isn't so reactive.  It's hoped for—that we become discerning in our responses to new information, not jumping from one new fangled idea or another in a quest to be healthier.  This would go for a spiritual growing up as well.  In all of this, what is the difference between adapting and adopting?

Courage and a Self Confidence is required. Through our continuum, there is a time to follow and "obey".  There is also a time to find the courage not to look toward outward "authority",  but believe enough in what one has experienced, gathered information-wise and trust in one's own maturation process.  Or, maybe it's about following the intuitive messages even though all that outward advice makes sense.  A reliable practice of self-awareness will sort the false impulse from the true impulse.  It is a growing up of sorts;  a confidence in one's own perceptions, knowledge/understanding base and the experience of having navigated dark corners before.  It's a trust in speaking up, being adversarial when necessary, being close to one's own truth.  This doesn't negate being open to other information or an other.  It just means owning one's own grounded material in what Is.

This sometimes means finding one's own language within the known culture, whether it be in spiritual practice or wellness lingo.  Human nature makes us prone to being static in our approach, clinging to what has been known, whether it be language, way of understanding, an approach to a spiritual or wellness practice, or dietary and movement habits.  Because everything is changing all the time, being light "on our feet" is necessary.  A regular practice of entering into unknown territory, making efforts that are not familiar, or may be somewhat uncomfortable and foreign.  Becoming familiar with how—and where—I recede and retreat into habits that aren't useful is part of the self awareness practice.  If one has relied primarily on external authority to direct one's efforts in the past, claiming a semblance of one's own "master" is initially a rocky road.  It's sort of like being 20 years old again, finding your young adult legs under yourself, making first time life decisions, leaning into resistance and not capitulating.  It's possible to boldly strike out, to find the courage to be enough where you are, recognize your needs, and make a demand of yourself or of others to meet those needs.

It is true there is an "action" component to all this.  But mostly, it's sublimely internal. The action has turned inward, hence, doesn't have to be externally manifested to the extent it has been in previous decades.  Stepping up to (the responsibility of) oneself minimizes confusion.  Confidence is confidence, not arrogance.  Courage is courage, not being cavalier.  It's clear.  Understanding and living these differences makes us our own leader, mentor, guru.  And if we somehow find we have trickled our way into arrogance or have become cavalier, that's ok.  Because we have, at our foundation, taken responsibility and owned what is.  So we own that, and we mindfully work with that manifestation.  It's a beautiful thing. No longer are we afraid of being—or experiencing ourselves—as arrogant.  We are more afraid of not seeing what is.  We are more afraid of being static and internally atrophied.  Scary personality portraits of old are now interesting, beguiling, surprising and refresh our perspective.

"To thine own self be true." Hamlet, Wm Shakespeare

“And you will know the truth, and that truth will set you free.”  John 8:32

Modern Toiletry

The subject of toiletry has pertained to all people through all of time.  Ancient Egyptians mastered it making it an art form.  Medieval Europeans suffered a significant lack of engagement with it.  What does modern toiletry say about us and our relationship to wellness?

Toiletry is a type of self care.  It involves self-touch and self-appreciation.  Media-zation has considerably distorted the practice.  It has become dousing oneself in chemical-based colognes and products (to cover odor), masking aspects of ourself we would be culturally embarrassed by (hair, wrinkles, blemishes, scars).  Toiletry shouldn't be based on cultural embarrassment.  It's not a negative influence.  It's a celebration of the body we live in, an appreciation and honoring of our function.  We wash ourselves not only of dirt and sweat, but of dead cells and static energy.  We attend to rough skin and callus.  By touching and looking with appreciation (not condemnation), we mindfully care for ourselves.  This care changes our respiration rate and hormonal output.  It is a subtle message to the rest of me, a message of love, which impacts the entire organism.

Much like other basic activities in modern life, toiletry has gone to the wayside.  Basic activities like cooking a meal from scratch to feed the body (inclusive of spirit and soul) has become separated from most of me and has become mechanical.  So too, bathing becomes automatic, something we do because we should do it, but often it is missing the intention, the love of oneself that actually impacts our health and wellness. Like most things, we find shortcuts to move through eating and toileting as fast as we can.  In this rushed process, we eliminate care; care of ourselves on a dimensional level.  In a gym setting, I've watched with interest the absence of toiletry in others.  I'm not talking about people not showering after working out.  I'm talking about the lack of consciousness in the bathing and toiletry activity.  People barely dry off from a shower, throw clothes on and are out the door.  There is no awareness of their bodies in this way, of their skin or hair.  I sometimes think I am an observer outside a fast food restaurant; the sensibility is similar.

Toiletry involves our largest organ:  the epidermis-- skin.  Skin breathes.  It respirates, removing toxins. What we put on it is absorbed into our bloodstream, hence effecting the rest of our organ systems.  By subjecting it to seemingly benign chemicals, whether it be commercial soaps, shampoos, oils and lotions we further toxify ourselves as much as if we ingested these harsh substances.  So we need to take a look at the quality of water we use and the ingredients in these topicals.  It's possible to buy (and make!) lotions and oils that are whole, chemically free.  Appalachian Valley Natural Products http://www.av-at.com has lotions, oils, shampoos and other toiletry needs that fit this bill.  They sell a wide range of harvested/processed-with-integrity essential oils for you to customize the scent or desired energetic response of the scent-free product (i.e.: lavender good for relaxation, rosemary good for stimulation of hair follicles, etc).  They sell minimally processed lotions, like avocado butter and almond oil, good for hydration and softening respectively.

At the heart of all this, is the emotional and psychological aspect of basic self care.  It could be our (cultural) indoctrination of shame and contempt of the human body or the particular human body we live in with all its flaws and imperfections, impacts the cursory way we approach toiletry.  Or the guilt of not deserving the time, place, space or resources to manifest this type of care upon ourselves is another influence.  And then there is the denial, that intention and consciousness is not really that relevant to basic things like eating and bathing.  Just cook it, or sponge it and get it over with.  It would be interesting to try the experiment of taking one's daily shower as one usually does, with the addition of an awareness of how it is done (without changing anything about it).  And then on another day, taking one's daily shower with the addition of intention and care.  Conscious of the pressure of the cloth or sponge down the various limbs, the breath in the body as whole scents permeate the shower atmosphere.  How does it feel to take time and awareness in the drying process, noticing the small almost imperceptible needs of various parts; a small massage to a tired knee, a sandstone to a tough and callused heel.  Is there a difference?  What is the difference?  Look in the mirror, does this attention change how I feel, how I look, the tension levels in my body?  How does this effect me?  Is there an accumulated benefit if toiletry is regularly performed like this?

I had an interesting conversation with an old friend the other day.  We spoke about how it is the imperceptible and indirect actions which brings about meaningful, authentic change, not the direct and usually ego driven imposition of ideas or actions.  The small garden privately tended impacts the neighbors, impacts the person doing it, who then brings that influence into their day and to those with whom they interface.  The love and self care one shows oneself will mirror to the outside world, impacting all.  When we forgo these small opportunities of showing care to oneself or others, whether it be cooking a meal, or simply bathing with more awareness and self-love, we indirectly shower (pun intended) disregard, lack of awareness in our daily atmosphere.  This intrinsically leads to insensitivity and inconsideration.  A small act will do this:  what I care and don't care to put in or on my body, how I care or don't care to acknowledge about my body by lack of caring touch and regard. It's subtle yet pervasive.

Turning Toward: An Approach to Addiction

One of the wonderful aspects of navigating a wellness coaching business is finding my strengths along the way and attracting those that would resonate.  I am surprised to be surprised finding out who I am.  And I am even more surprised at the people who find their way to me for support and assistance.  There, more often than not, is a shared vibration which makes even the stickiest, difficult work a joy for us both.

Whereas most nurses are very directive, that is not my favorite approach (although it has been fun to play the bossy role at times).  The bodyworker-artist in me finds my own and other's difficulties intriguing.  In relation to a healing or dealing with a habit, I can do all the linear list making a client could ever want, but what I really love and find most effective, is collaborating.  In regards to wellness, I don't personally like being told what to do, and I have found most autonomous, self-directed adults feel likewise.  I like figuring things out with the light guidance of others.  I like to be empowered in the process, not directed by an other's force (well meaning or not).  So, creating relationship with one whom helps and making relationship with that which needs attention is an adventure worth exploring.

One of the approaches I've used successfully as of late with addiction (in particular smoking) has been focusing compassion on the parts of oneself that needs smoking to survive.  Forget about the external addiction.  Who in this person needs, craves, longs for cigarettes?  Don't quit smoking out of inner/outer pressure from others or out of shame.  Quit smoking because you don't need it anymore.  Heal the original wound.

The parts of a client that need smoking are vulnerable.  The last thing they need is contempt, ridicule, disappointment  and rejection coming at them.  They hardly can admit their existence out of fear of being seen as weak, pathetic and pitiful.  Working with people to divulge these delicate areas in themselves, works best if  humor is in play.  Also, creatively using trance state, movement and play in venues that a client appreciates and relaxes in, is useful.  Buoyancy and play help in the suspension of fear and negativity.

What I have been finding in many people who depend upon smoking, is they do so because it takes the edge off of their loneliness, frustrations, sense of isolation, misery, grief, feeling of abandonment, or friendlessness.  People who smoke (maybe who struggle with any addiction or hard habit) have had a trauma around one of these mentioned areas that they could not then and have not since been able to navigate.  They started smoking when their girlfriend left them back in high school, or the kids went off to college or lost a job, etc.  Or they started smoking to quell a sense of self-inadequacy, disappointment, disillusionment.  Over time, smoking became inextricably linked to relief from these emotional states that are hard to admit to oneself or others.  Emotional states that are unbearable (without a cigarette).  This is the human condition.  In practice, this is what surfaces, the pictures that unfold, the stories that get told.  The feelings linked to the smoking are usually more shaming for the client than the actual smoking.

So, how does this compassion approach work?  What I do is set an intention with the client to not change anything overtly, but to watch, observe and even honor the need by caring for the needy-one.  This allows change to unfold organically, naturally, non-violently.  We watch the ritual of smoking; the reliable time around the urges, how a cigarette is actually handled from beginning to end, the thoughts and feelings in the inhale, the exhale, the smells and other sense involvement. I encourage practicing a suspension of judgement or self criticism during the study; it frees up that which is curious and interested.  Clients record heavy/light usage times, when is the best cigarette of the day, when is the time it is most negligible.  They record the sense of who in them requires a drag or two (the bored, defiant teenager, the lonely child?).   We also record the external and internal stressors, the hiding of it from certain places and people, when is it enjoyable and when is it repugnant.  In this process, they (and I) begin to become more familiar with what the habit of smoking is to this unique organism, what it means to all/most of themselves, the joy and sorrow around it, connected to it and the pleasure/displeasure present. And we are easy (even playful) about it.  Hell, brimstone and cancer threats are not required.

What happens in this approach is the person inside who has this habit is less shrouded in shame, becomes more self-accepted.  A curiosity is cultivated. It doesn't become about "breaking" the habit, it's more about the interesting self who participates in the habit and all the accompanying circumstances and history that support it.  It becomes an awakening of sorts that is freed from the previous inevitable guilt.  When clients start to emerge out of their shame and guilt over the addiction, I've witnessed a soaring sense of creativity and intuition from them, which then becomes like a beacon toward a movement of change.  Seemingly all of a sudden, they decide their living situation needs tweaking to abate their loneliness.  Or they acquire a pet, join a church, or take up an art class.  Experiencing this vivid creativity, they begin to feel what it is like to be more themselves.  This phenomenon by itself is enormously comforting.  And then, quite anticlimactically one day (in their own time) it is decided, "You know, I don't think I want to have smoking in my life anymore.  I don't need it." Like giving up old clothes that don't feel right anymore. And every time this happens for a client, there is a new Wow for me.  It's incredible how natural and non violent the action is.  The stopping wasn't based on withholding, denying, shame or judgement. It's based on a healing seated in a global sense of self love.

Post smoking cravings and urges are there, but taken in perspective, because they've been studied with compassion.  One senses one's dimension; no longer held in these mean, contemptuous pigeonholes of "weak", "addict", "hopeless, never to change",  "disgusting", etc.  The secret corners have been exposed to benevolence.  Someone loving, kind and occasionally funny has partnered up with them--- themSelf.  They truly are no longer alone or friendless or isolated.  They've evolved caring witnesses within in the process of courageously facing their history, undisclosed feelings and their truth.

This approach is really a larger commitment to know oneself, and yet also does happen to be effective in habit cessation.  People who appreciate this inside-out work,  are the types of clients I am interested in and whom seem to be attracted to my wellness work.  I can and have done the directed, linear approach. But, it is not that interesting to me.  It requires but a perfunctory formation of a relationship to self, other or the issue. If it is at all successful, it's almost always partially so.   Compassion work is a commitment but it lasts a lifetime; once you get a taste, a gist of it, it's pretty easy to access and keep as a consistent constant in one's life.  It actually becomes almost impossible not to actively know it.  It is Love in action, something one begins to find, they can't live without.

The Edge

photo credit:  Cornel Pufan

As we move through our continuums, even on a daily basis, we come into contact with personal edges.  Energetic edges happen when a vibration becomes a challenge in us, usually brought on by ambivalence, two opposites occurring at once, or a deep seated fear or challenge to a belief system.  Often, one or two aspects of our self meets this “crisis” and more often than not, there is no reconciliation factor to transform the edge.  A common example could be, our physicality reaches an edge (ie: exhaustion) and the mind and or the heart meet it (with “I can’t go on.” or “I must go on.”).  The edge is tenuous, it could go either way depending on the supporting/non-supporting aspects.  A strong motivated mind or emotion could be the factor that gets us past the physical edge.  And a non-committal or unengaged mental or emotional stance will do otherwise.  Another example could be a fatigued mind can’t get through a mental problem it faces, and the emotional center of ourselves is of no help as it despised the problem to begin with and the body, weakened by the mind’s momentary fatigue collapses as well.

photo credit:  Michael Karcz

We don’t recognize our edges.  They are uncomfortable and frequently downright scary (as said, they often are a challenge to a deep seated belief).  A common response to meeting an unconscious edge in ourselves is to get reactive, confused and ultimately turn away from the friction (vibration) created.  So the edge remains latent in us until the next surfacing. 

The power of edges is of course the energy generated there.  The transformation of an edge is the awareness we are there and the courage not to turn away.

Like most things of importance, meeting and transforming an edge takes practice.  We have to come up to it and turn away umpteen times, priming an inner awareness of it.  Breaking that cycle (because it occurs so frequently with a particular edge) is an exercise of patience for an inner life.  Knowing I ultimately have to bring other aspects of myself to the edge besides the one that gets me there is useful.

So, I start out doing an “impossible” task, one I’ve never done, have no familiarity or seeming aptitude for and hence feel supremely uncomfortable in the approach.  It’s a task I have never attempted out of decades of deep seated fear and layers of complex beliefs.  But, my mind knows it has to be done, there is no not doing it.  My body is sort of curious about this new never-been-done-before quest and is somewhat willing because it is supported by the determined mind.  The emotional center of myself is fully crazed about the prospect, has dug in her heels and can be heard whining about it almost constantly, nay-saying and dooms-daying as we start to move through the steps of the task.  Normally, all the ruckus the emotions create would stop the rest of me in my tracks.  But the methodical mind is on a roll.  And wisely, she hasn’t taken her usual imperious stance, dominating the rest of me.  She takes a wise-parent approach and this makes all the difference.  She keeps moving forward doing the laid out steps (with the help of the able and curious body), while cajoling the emotional part.  “We’re just going to do this for three hours today, it might be sort of fun. We’ll make no determinations, we’re just trying an experiment.”  

photo credit: Sterni

The three hours experience could be likened to dragging a full cart with no wheels.  It is like a flailing child on my left hip, causing me to do a sort of Igor/Frankenstein walk, dragging this besides-herself-little-one clinging, kicking and screaming.  There is a general feeling of supreme discomfort, even pain.  Confusion sets in in increments and I have an impression of being on the deck of a boat on a rolling ocean. Something in me knows the confusions and overwhelm are part and parcel of the effort and not to spend too much time trying to unravel them. Parts of myself are internally cowering, pretending they are stupid and don’t know anything.  This “I don’t know anything!” drama I find is actually helpful; my past indoctrination says, when you are a rank novice at something, mistakes are allowed, mercy is shown, the boom doesn’t get lowered.  Wow! It’s ok not to know. 

The three hours are up, I pack ‘us’ into the car.  There is a visceral sensation I am all in pieces, kind of shredded, and the main impression I have of myself.  I do a lot of inner cooing and reassuring on the way home, actually talking aloud:  “Ok. THATS over.  We’re done for the day, on our way home now.  We did great! We’ll have some nice tea when we get there and take the rest of the day off.  We won’t think or do anything else about this for now.”  Something in me is dutiful to this; faintly tempted to consider doing some thinking work on the process, she just lets it go.  There would be time for this action in awhile when most of me was feeling more settled, less shredded.

photo credit:  Barbara Corvine

There are a lot of edges in this.  Not only the ‘impossible’ task at the center, but experiencing the emotional dramas of the small child that still lives and her bounty of extreme impressions and reactions.  Also, the benevolent parent who somehow doesn’t marginalize the wailing child, but just keeps moving forward with a type of empathy for the fear-ridden.  That there were beginnings, middles and definite ends in the steps was enormously helpful; it provided lampposts (a short term goal) to get to and complete.  The practice of doing this exercise multiple times was great for the whole, because they all came to know it was survivable.  We would get through this, we did it before.  Each time, a new step became a bit more detailed and “serious”.  Each time newish terrors would surface, the intimidation factor would become more heightened.  And each time the benevolent parent would rise to the occasion, “It’s ok. We can do this.  It is terrifying.  We’re in this together.”

Part of meeting and transforming this edge was not getting bogged down in the smokescreens other parts of the self would create (the usual “turn away” factor).  They were noted, sometimes momentarily overwhelming, but not distracting enough to derail the intention set.  The presence of someone compassionate and benevolent, not willing to annihilate the ruckus-causing parts for her own purposes was also very unifying.  A sense even the disruptive have a place in the process, a voice to be recognized, a value-- significantly diffuses the power of the ensuing polarized anarchy. It was a joint effort, no Lone Ranger in sight.

Possibly, the transformation of an edge is a rite of passage.  There is no doubt it is entering a crucible of sorts; there is a combustible incineration process, pain and suffering is guaranteed.  But the sense of liberation and the infusion of a clear, bright energy once one has stepped through that door is an experience of tasting the magnificence of being Alive.  Once done, the possibility of navigating the course of an edge undeniably exists. It is also gives a perspective that illusions abound and confirms I may be living much of my life behind a veil.

Science Set Free

As is everything else, science is changing.  Scientists are now recognizing their playground has been constricted by assumptions that have hardened into dogmas.  Should science be a belief-system, or an exploration?  Rupert Sheldrake, Ph.D (Rupert Sheldrake Online - Homepage). is a biologist and author of more than 80 scientific papers and 10 books, including  Science Set Free (September 2012), is one such scientist who is turning the dogmas of science into questions, opening up startling new possibilities.   For example, he extrapolates about several basic science beliefs:  the “laws of nature” may be habits that change and evolve. The Fundamental Constants may not be constant. Minds may extend far beyond brains. The total amount of matter and energy may be increasing. Memories may not be stored as traces in our brains.* 

For many of today’s foremost scientists, the world is a strictly material place, made up of dead matter, with no intrinsic purpose, value or meaning. Consciousness is seen as solely a physical function of the brain. Sheldrake demonstrates that these principles are not incontrovertible truths, but rather assumptions that have become dangerously constrictive to the progress of real scientific discovery. With a skepticism characteristic of true scientific inquiry, he sets his sights on ten fundamental dogmas of the science, dismantling each to make room for startling new possibilities. Sheldrake is pro-science, stating, “I want the sciences to be less dogmatic and more scientific. I believe that the sciences will be regenerated when they are liberated from the dogmas that constrict them."*   

Sheldrake compellingly argues that long-held assumptions are now limiting scientific progress and preventing us from effectively meeting the challenges of the twenty-first century. The belief system governing conventional scientific thinking has become an act of faith. His recent book points the way to a return to true science, a system based on inquiry and skepticism not blind acceptance. Some of these "blind acceptances"  he explores:

Are Memories Stored as Material Traces? Repeated failures to find physical evidence of memories etched on the brain suggest another approach is needed. Seeing memory as a resonant phenomenon, which explains the observed phenomena of collective, cultural, and generational memory, belies the idea that memory decays at death, and has profound implications for both teaching and evolution*

Are the Laws of Nature Fixed? Making universal assumptions on the basis of pre-evolutionary philosophies limits our capacity to understand change and evolution. The “laws” of nature are really more like habits—for example, crystals grow as they do because they have grown that way before.

Is the Total amount of Matter and Energy Always the Same? In the last 30 years the total amount of matter and energy recognized by physics has increased more than 20-fold. Dark matter and dark energy, whose nature is literally obscure, are now believed to make up more than 96 percent of reality. Can any of this newly-discovered energy be tapped, with revolutionary effects on the world economy?

Deepak Chopra, who published this last book of Sheldrake's, speaks warmly of his work in his blog (Deepak Chopra - Science Set Free):

"Sheldrake's essential point is that science needs setting free from ten blind dogmas. These dogmas embrace a true belief system as much as Roman Catholicism or any other faith. Behind the daily activity of gathering data, science assumes certain things about reality that, according to Sheldrake, are unsupportable. The first dogma, for example, holds that the universe is mechanical. If that is so, then everything in the universe is also mechanical, including human beings - or to use a phrase from the noted atheist Richard Dawkins, we are "lumbering robots." From a scientist's perspective, to understand everything that you need to know about human beings, you only have to tinker with all the mechanical parts of genes and the brain until there are no more secrets left.

Clearly such a view leaves no room for the soul, which becomes a wispy illusion that needs to be swept away. But then, so does the self, because there is no region of the brain that contains "I," a person. As long as "I" is a hallucination formed by complex neural circuitry, one can throw out - or reduce to mechanical operations - love, beauty, truth, compassion, honor, devotion, faith, and so on, the whole apparatus that makes a person's life feel valuable. A random universe has no purpose; therefore, giving lumbering robots a purpose is dubious."

Chopra makes a wide swing to the other pole in the above statement. Would it be possible that there lies a paradoxical truth; that is, the universe is consumately automatic in every way AND also has a mostly undisclosed potential for a resonating, full intelligence?  The impending possibility that there is no fixed "I", only the potential of one-- and truth, compassion, devotion can be as mechanical as anything else, but again, because of this universal possibility contained in consciousness, it could be otherwise.  Perhaps we are coming to: these conflicting truths exist simultaneously in all and everything. We and the universe as "systems",  embody both mechanicality and an extremely sensitive organism with a layered consciousness.

Chopra continues, "The second dogma he overturns is the belief that matter is unconscious. The whole universe is filled with atoms and molecules that have no connection to intelligence, creativity, or meaning. The problem here is that nobody can explain how atoms and molecules learned to think. No matter how closely you examine the water, glucose, and electrolyte salts in the human brain, you can't find the point where these molecules became conscious. How come the sugar water in a can of Coke isn't thinking and feeling while the sugar water in your cerebral cortex is? For science to brush this problem aside as mere metaphysics doesn't make it go away.

The third dogma is that the laws of nature are fixed and haven't changed since the Big Bang. The fourth is that the amount of matter and energy in the cosmos is always the same. And so the list grows, building toward a shocking conclusion: Science has been explaining a mirage and calling it reality. Sheldrake isn't speaking as a mystic or an enemy of science - far from it. He has kept up with the most current findings in physics and biology. Among these findings are some shattering discoveries, as far as rigid dogmas are concerned:

- The universe operates more like a living organism than a machine.
- The existence of dark matter and dark energy topples the conservation of matter and energy. Because the "dark" dimension operates outside the visible universe, the notion of fixed laws of nature suddenly looks wobbly, too.
- Purpose-driven evolution may explain life better than the random mutation of classic Darwinism.
- Genes, far from being fixed and deterministic, are involved in a far more fluid interaction than anyone ever supposed.

Sheldrake works with many more intriguing discoveries; he has a delightfully inquisitive, penetrating mind. He also seems unflappable in the face of the howling protests he has raised for thirty years, beginning when none of the above findings was even suspected. If science weren't a dogmatic belief system, there would be rational responses to his challenges rather than scorn from true believers. But a major shift is occurring. Under its title in the UK, The Science Delusion (playing off Dawkins' best-selling The God Delusion) Sheldrake's new book is getting positive reviews in high places. Even more promising, a new generation of younger scientists, who are trained (unlike Dawkins) in the shifting new realities of physics, biology, and genetics, is actually intrigued by a universe permeated with consciousness, intelligence, and meaning.

Sheldrake is merciless when it comes to dogmas being preached as if they were truths, but he has a special gentleness that rises above controversy and ill-tempered arguments. "Science is more free, more fun, and more interesting," he says, "when we turn dogmas into questions instead." Can anyone seriously disagree? The beautiful part of reading Science Set Free is the Aha! moments that come unexpectedly. All of us are living with dogmas that we accept as truths. When one of these is overturned, there's an initial gasp, soon followed by a rush of exhilaration. The point of life, as Sheldrake shows so well, isn't to set science free but to set humans free, because we are more precious than any of the false gods we have created."

 Rupert Sheldrake, Ph.D. is a biologist and author of more than 80 scientific papers and 10 books, including  Science Set Free (September 2012). He was a Fellow of Clare College, Cambridge University, a Research Fellow of the Royal Society, Principal Plant Physiologist at ICRISAT (the International Crops Research Institute for the Semi-Arid Tropics) in Hyderabad, India, and from 2005-2010 the Director of the Perrott-Warrick Project for research on unexplained human abilities, funded from Trinity College, Cambridge. His web site is www.sheldrake.org

Much of the above material was gleaned from Science Set Free *book releases.  His book can be found: 

Science Set Free: 10 Paths to New Discovery: Rupert Sheldrake ...