Modern Toiletry

The subject of toiletry has pertained to all people through all of time.  Ancient Egyptians mastered it making it an art form.  Medieval Europeans suffered a significant lack of engagement with it.  What does modern toiletry say about us and our relationship to wellness?

Toiletry is a type of self care.  It involves self-touch and self-appreciation.  Media-zation has considerably distorted the practice.  It has become dousing oneself in chemical-based colognes and products (to cover odor), masking aspects of ourself we would be culturally embarrassed by (hair, wrinkles, blemishes, scars).  Toiletry shouldn't be based on cultural embarrassment.  It's not a negative influence.  It's a celebration of the body we live in, an appreciation and honoring of our function.  We wash ourselves not only of dirt and sweat, but of dead cells and static energy.  We attend to rough skin and callus.  By touching and looking with appreciation (not condemnation), we mindfully care for ourselves.  This care changes our respiration rate and hormonal output.  It is a subtle message to the rest of me, a message of love, which impacts the entire organism.

Much like other basic activities in modern life, toiletry has gone to the wayside.  Basic activities like cooking a meal from scratch to feed the body (inclusive of spirit and soul) has become separated from most of me and has become mechanical.  So too, bathing becomes automatic, something we do because we should do it, but often it is missing the intention, the love of oneself that actually impacts our health and wellness. Like most things, we find shortcuts to move through eating and toileting as fast as we can.  In this rushed process, we eliminate care; care of ourselves on a dimensional level.  In a gym setting, I've watched with interest the absence of toiletry in others.  I'm not talking about people not showering after working out.  I'm talking about the lack of consciousness in the bathing and toiletry activity.  People barely dry off from a shower, throw clothes on and are out the door.  There is no awareness of their bodies in this way, of their skin or hair.  I sometimes think I am an observer outside a fast food restaurant; the sensibility is similar.

Toiletry involves our largest organ:  the epidermis-- skin.  Skin breathes.  It respirates, removing toxins. What we put on it is absorbed into our bloodstream, hence effecting the rest of our organ systems.  By subjecting it to seemingly benign chemicals, whether it be commercial soaps, shampoos, oils and lotions we further toxify ourselves as much as if we ingested these harsh substances.  So we need to take a look at the quality of water we use and the ingredients in these topicals.  It's possible to buy (and make!) lotions and oils that are whole, chemically free.  Appalachian Valley Natural Products http://www.av-at.com has lotions, oils, shampoos and other toiletry needs that fit this bill.  They sell a wide range of harvested/processed-with-integrity essential oils for you to customize the scent or desired energetic response of the scent-free product (i.e.: lavender good for relaxation, rosemary good for stimulation of hair follicles, etc).  They sell minimally processed lotions, like avocado butter and almond oil, good for hydration and softening respectively.

At the heart of all this, is the emotional and psychological aspect of basic self care.  It could be our (cultural) indoctrination of shame and contempt of the human body or the particular human body we live in with all its flaws and imperfections, impacts the cursory way we approach toiletry.  Or the guilt of not deserving the time, place, space or resources to manifest this type of care upon ourselves is another influence.  And then there is the denial, that intention and consciousness is not really that relevant to basic things like eating and bathing.  Just cook it, or sponge it and get it over with.  It would be interesting to try the experiment of taking one's daily shower as one usually does, with the addition of an awareness of how it is done (without changing anything about it).  And then on another day, taking one's daily shower with the addition of intention and care.  Conscious of the pressure of the cloth or sponge down the various limbs, the breath in the body as whole scents permeate the shower atmosphere.  How does it feel to take time and awareness in the drying process, noticing the small almost imperceptible needs of various parts; a small massage to a tired knee, a sandstone to a tough and callused heel.  Is there a difference?  What is the difference?  Look in the mirror, does this attention change how I feel, how I look, the tension levels in my body?  How does this effect me?  Is there an accumulated benefit if toiletry is regularly performed like this?

I had an interesting conversation with an old friend the other day.  We spoke about how it is the imperceptible and indirect actions which brings about meaningful, authentic change, not the direct and usually ego driven imposition of ideas or actions.  The small garden privately tended impacts the neighbors, impacts the person doing it, who then brings that influence into their day and to those with whom they interface.  The love and self care one shows oneself will mirror to the outside world, impacting all.  When we forgo these small opportunities of showing care to oneself or others, whether it be cooking a meal, or simply bathing with more awareness and self-love, we indirectly shower (pun intended) disregard, lack of awareness in our daily atmosphere.  This intrinsically leads to insensitivity and inconsideration.  A small act will do this:  what I care and don't care to put in or on my body, how I care or don't care to acknowledge about my body by lack of caring touch and regard. It's subtle yet pervasive.

Sleep Tight

Frederic Leighton

My recent post, The Fine Art of Self Soothing, was written primarily with children in mind.  Adults too, struggle through their continuum with rest and especially sleep issues.  This one is for you.

What causes insomnia, wakefulness long past lights-out, broken/interrupted sleep?  Even for those who claim they are great sleepers, there is usually a period of time in life when sleep patterns are not solid.  It could be when raising children and all those middle of the night feedings. It could be middle-age, the changing hormones wreak havoc on your circadian cycle, and we become sensitive to substances and habits that never kept us awake before.  It could be old age when hormones, a sedentary life style, frequent day napping, bladder control problems lead to a brief and unsatisfying night rest.  It could be the general tensions and anxiety of living in the 21^st century. How can we get better rest, some reliable peace at night?

The concept of ritual which I discussed in the Self-Soothing post applies as much to adults as it does to children.  Most of us were raised on some type of night ritual to help us sleep.  As we age and go through different developmental cycles, many of the tried and true ways we took for granted growing up fall to the wayside and are not replaced.  Repetitive patterning (rituals essentially) cue the body to prepare for whatever the patterning was initially instituted for.  Creating new patterns for the life I find myself in now will help the repose I long for.

Creating bedtime rituals is committing to spending time before bed preparing for sleep.  Many sleep problems are born because an hour is spent watching the news or stimulating talk shows on our electromagnetic charged devices before we expect to sleep.  Or, we fall into bed after a long day expecting sleep to take us over without any preparation.  We have to set the stage, create the conditions for sleep. This takes some thought and intention.

Look at your surroundings:  your bed, what you face from your bed.  Is it serene, pleasing to your senses?  If not, make it so.  Your bed is your haven, it should be extremely comforting and comfortable; the linens and bedding especially restful to your senses.  Get rid of unnecessary clutter, open up your dream space.  Clutter is more stimulation; you want simple (austere?), clean, restful impressions. Make your bed everyday if you don’t already.  Be slow and deliberate about how you spread and smooth the linens.  When you see it next (at bedtime) you want it to sing lullabies (figuratively speaking) and be consummately inviting.  Your bed clothes should reflect this as well and be treated special and put in a special place.  Before turning in at night, consider spritzing the linens, bed clothes circumference around your bed with sleep essential oils (Lavandin, Bergamot, Sweet Marjoram, rose Otto—whatever is pleasing).  The repetitive use of these oils will become familiar and cue the body it is time to sleep. Try a diffuser of your favorite essential oils at night.

Pre-bed rituals like night hygiene, bathing, rubbing oils into your feet and neck are other repetitive patterns to help the body to sleep. Be deliberate in your bathing.  Feel the skin you touch, be slow and loving drying yourself off (that's your leg you are toweling, it brings you everywhere you want to go without fail).  Once on a retreat, the woman sleeping in the bunk next to me spent 20 minutes a night with lotion massaging her feet, touching and just putting them to bed. (I asked her after seeing her do this for 3 nights if her feet hurt and she said no, this is what she did nightly to prepare for bed).  Laying in bed and running your hands down your limbs and body, pausing when necessary at the achy parts, sending some loving energy that way is a great way to say good night to yourself.  There is something very affirming about your own loving, caring self touch that calms and establishes acceptance and peace to your own energy field.

Reading some poetry, listening to Mozart or Bach for a time before sleep is helpful.  Try this over a specific time period and then put it away; try not to fall asleep reading or listening to music (it can be a reason one wakes up in the night; cycling tracks of music or a burning light from reading).  Sensitizing oneself to one’s breathing patterns and paying attention to it repetitively can sometimes stop a busy mind.  Guided Imagery, allowing the bones and flesh of the body to sink into the safe-haven of the bed is restful.  I teach a “10:10” exercise that involves breathing in to the count of 4 and exhaling to the count of 6.  Establish this breathing rhythm and after you have done it 5 or 6 times breathe in one impression you are grateful for in the day that has just ended.  Breathe with that 5 times in the breathing rhythm established.  This is one cycle or pattern. Repeat the pattern 9 more times, a new day’s gratitude for each cycle.  You will be lucky to get to the fifth cycle, it is very relaxing.  Not only is the breathing rhythm soliciting the relaxation response, but the series of gratitudes also support the parasympathetic nervous system in its quest for repose.

The main point about any of these practices is establishing a repetitive ritual.  Do a few of them for several nights; try a few others.  You will have your favorites.  Taking the time to establish soothing patterning will reap many rewards.  Your waking will be a peaceful waking because you’ve instilled this in your thinking, feeling and physiology pre-sleep.  This sends well being messages to your central nervous system and saturates your nerves.  You will benefit from this in the morning.

Birds Appearing in a Dream  One had feathers like a blood-streaked koi, another a tail of color-coded wires. One was a blackbird stretching orchid wings, another a flicker with a wounded head. All flew like leaves fluttering to escape, bright, circulating in burning air, and all returned when the air cleared. One was a kingfisher trapped in its bower, deep in the ground, miles from water. Everything is real and everything isn’t. Some had names and some didn’t. Named and nameless shapes of birds, at night my hand can touch your feathers and then I wipe the vernix from your wings, you who have made bright things from shadows, you who have crossed the distances to roost in me.

-- by Michael Collier
essential oil resources: HERBARIUM Herbal and Nutritional Supplements including Bulk ...  (great! info & service) Appalachian Valley Natural Products

The Quan Yin of essential oils: Lavender

Quan Yin is a “saint” for both Taoists and Buddhists alike (how many entities do we know that cross the great religion divide?).  She is known for her deeply empathic declaration, refusing to become immortal until all suffering in the world was alleviated, but would live on showing mercy to all.  And she does.  In China she is evident in the softness of the mountains, and the very air and earth.  Quan Yin is the quintessential icon for care and mercy.  Likewise, True Lavender’s (angustifolia Lavandula) essential chemical properties and capacity reflects a type of medicinal mercy.

There are a few other essential oils (eo) I would give a quality label like “mercy” to: Frankincense, Neroli, Angelica Immortelle to name a few.  But True Lavender… well Lavender is a kind of standout.  She is such a diverse and hardworking eo, addressing so many maladies.  She is a wound healer, an infection stopper, a histamine blocker.  She refreshes spirit and fills those flagging neurotransmitters in the brain obliterating migraines and tendencies toward depression.  She promotes relaxation, rest and sleep for the weary.  And she is generous, willing to work in concert with western medicine’s opioids to decrease pain. 

True Lavender is a pretty ordinary species, easy to grow and a well known botanical oil in Europe and the Americas.  Despite her lack of exotic allure, it can be said she is trustworthy, accountable, gentle and sublime.  In my years of practicing clinical aromatherapy, and using Lavender on probably thousands of people, I have never seen an allergy to this eo (or heard of one in my studies).  It is easily my first go-to oil in myriads of situations, alone or in combination.  When used with other oils, she doesn’t fight or overstate her delicate power.  She is pure cooperation and a team player.

It would seem more natural to pair Quan Yin with an Asian eo like Ylang Ylang rather than the very western angustifolia Lavandula.  As lovely as Ylang Ylang is, its power is not gentle nor subtle.  True Lavender like Quan Yin is the essence of femininity, and although not an Asian botanical, somehow creates a harmonious relationship with her parallel entity which calls from half way around the world.  This is not surprising as both of their abilities and purpose is about extending themselves, hero(ine)ically.

Nature's First Aid Kit (Part II)

Photograph credit:  W.A. Rogers

This post, Nature's First Aid Kit (Part II), will deal with bug bites, poison ivy, minor cuts, scrapes and bruises.  I will write a part "III" at another time on general natural wellness care for dealing with maladies such as hemorrhoids, (herpes) mouth blisters, sore throat, tendonitis, stomaches, arthritis/rheumatic pain and inflammation and migraine headaches.

Minor cuts, scrapes, lacerations:  One's major objective in dealing with cuts and scrapes is to keep them clean.  Period.  Keeping broken skin clean leaves nature to dispatch her healing business without a hitch.  Broken skin exposed to all sorts of invading bacteria and viral organisms poses bigger challenges to the body's immune capabilities.  Keep it simple, keep it clean.  There are all sorts of antiseptics on the market in all sorts of containers; some claim to be painless (no hydrogen peroxide or alcohol).   Fore go the-over-the-counter cortisone and antibiotic creams; they don't assist but deter the body's innate healing tendencies.

Lavage the minor cut or scrape with soap and water. Have on hand your own home-made astringent antiseptics of aromatherapy essential oils (eo)*: combinations of Tea Tree Oil (Melaleuca alternifolia), Pine (Pinus sylvestris), Cypress (Cupressus sempervirens), Juniper (Juniperus communis) or Myrrh (Commiphora myrrha) in a solution of carrier oil and distilled water.^  Lavage judiciously.  Apply clean gauze until bleeding has stopped. Leave open to air if possible.  Many people believe applying a bandaid indefinitely keeps the cut/scrape clean and protected.  It actually is a breeding ground for bacteria, especially if you have the notion you can go about your business as usual doing dishes or exposing the broken skin to a contaminated, unclean environment. It's better to keep it open to air, watch it and have a sense of what you are exposing it to. Clean the area frequently if necessary with the eo antiseptic/astringent water. When it has scabbed over, apply tamanu a few times a day to aid in the healing and scarring process.

Consider taking adaptogens (see post: Adaptogens: Love in a bottle) to boost your immune system, fending off infection.


Bruises and contusions are handled effectively with homeopathics** (see post: Nature's First Aid Kit (Part I). Fennel (Foeniculum vulgare) mixed with Tamanu is effective in aiding the healing of bruises. With your own healing hands rub this remedy in periodically through the day and watch the dark blue/purple bruise move to various shades of green and yellow over a week to 10 days.


Bug Repellent:  Obviously, once again prevention is gold. There is  a wonderful product available through the internet only called Fly-Guard.  The ingredients are as follows:  Cederwood--Cedar oil has an overwhelming effect on insects. Cedar oil is not considered a pesticide because of the manner that it attacks the insect. The aroma (molecules) of cedar oil is essentially breathed in by an insect causing the insect to suffocate. Unlike pesticides that have to be digested or touched by the insect to be effective, cedar oil only needs to permeate the surrounding air in order to eliminate an insect. This works very well with pheromone-driven insects that need to follow a "chemical trail" in order to complete tasks. It would be unusual that insects like bees, wasps, butterflies and other non-pheromone-driven insects would be impacted.
Citronelle Oil--Citronella oil is also a renowned plant-based insect repellent, and has been registered for this use in the United States since 1948.^[2] The United States Environmental Protection Agency‎ considers oil of citronella as a biopesticide with a non-toxic mode of action.  Lemongrass oil--  Lemon Grass Oil, used as a pesticide and preservative, is put on the ancient palm-leaf manuscripts found in India as a preservative.  Clove Oil-- (Syzygium aromaticum) are the aromatic dried flower buds of a tree in the family Myrtaceae.  Neem Oil--Neem oil has a rather strong odor that is said to combine the odors of peanut and garlic. It is comprised mainly of triglycerides and contains triterpenoid compounds.  One can order through vconnect@aol.com; $29.95 plus shipping.
An aromatherapy eo bug repellent spritzer can be made with lemongrass (Cymbopogon citrates), eucalyptus (Eucalyptus globulus) and lavender (Lavandula angustifolia).^


These products can be sprayed on the body safely and/or in the general vicinity. It keeps insects at bay for about a foot radius. 


Treating bug bites: Of course, the worst part of bug bites is the itching (histamine response) and subsequent open skin and scabbing.  If possible, soon after the bite, apply a baking soda paste to draw out insect toxins.  If the itching is very bad, bath effected area in an oatmeal bath for 15-20 minutes. Than apply a salve made from  Juniper (Juniperus communis), Scotch Pine (Pinus sylvestris) and Patchouli (Pogostemon cablin) and Tamanu oil.^ If scabbing or scarring occurs from the itching, use refrigerated Tamanu frequently for fast healing.  Home Remedies For Insect Bites 
Natural Relief for Bug Bites and Poison Ivy | The Dr. Oz Show

Jewel Weed

Poison Ivy/Oak:  The stem part of the Jewel Weed (aka Touch-Me-Not) plant is purportedly the antidote to poison ivy (and can sometimes be found growing near poison ivy).  Break the stem, releasing the plants juice or open it up allowing the abundant moisture to be rubbed over the effected area.  Do this repeatedly until itching and redness abates.  (see "home remedies" link above.) 
     

As always, it is best to consult with your health care practitioner when taking herbal medicines or when considering any before-mentioned health practices.



*When using any essential oil, avoid contact with eyes and broken skin.  Flush with milk (not water) if inadvertently gets in eye.
^ these essential oil based products can be purchased through Integrated Medicine of Philadelphia directly.  Contact:  mkGermaineFraser@gmail.com for further product inquiries


Resources:

For essential oils, tamanu, primrose oil:

HERBARIUM Herbal and Nutritional Supplements including Bulk ...  (great! info & service)

Appalachian Valley Natural Products

for discounted homeopathic creams and products:

**Vitacost.com
Fly-Guard Insect Repellent:  vconnect@aol.com

Nature's First Aid Kit (Part I)

Sun with a coronal mass ejection. Photo credit: NASA

Now that warm weather is here, many of us are undoubtedly out and about more.  This is the first of two posts which will deal with practical, natural ways of dealing with (sun)burns and sprains.  My "II" post on this subject will address scrapes and minor cuts, bug bites and poison ivy.  Many of these "remedies" are common sense and/or things your grandmother did.  All of  them are non-toxic and work with the body's own healing awareness.

Of course, prevention as always, is fully encouraged. Wear hats and sunscreen 30 (Sandalwood-Santalum album-- essential oil added to sunblock enhances Vitamin D) applied frequently when  you know you'll be outdoors, light natural fabrics with long sleeves to limit sun exposure, for example.  Carry a "brew" of home-made bug spray like you carry a bottle of water through the warm months.  Although it is easy and convenient, don't succumb to buying (or using) products you wouldn't ingest; like Deet for insect control.  There are as effective natural products one can buy or make that won't accost your central nervous system.  Your body's healing sensibilities will thank you.

Besides prevention, the single biggest thing that will optimally improve the outcome of your first aid efforts is a quick response.  The sooner you address the burn, sprain or bug bite, the sooner the healing starts.  Don't wait around to see if your malady manifests.  You know you've been bitten by mosquitoes, the post itching will be much less if you address the truth of the matter immediately.

(Sun)Burns:  Everybody should have a miracle Aloe plant growing on their kitchen window sill. Applying aloe to a stove burn or sun burn, takes the pain and redness away immediately. Forget the over the counter sunburn cream, fresh Aloe is the first go-to in all minor burns and sunburns.  Determine the area size of the damaged surface, go to your aloe plant, find the Aloe "arm" that is saying "take me", thank it for all its miraculous blessings and snip off the size required.  Peel one edge of the spiny side off, split open the piece and rub continually on the burn surface. You will be amazed at how the body absorbs the somewhat slimy-gooey flesh that is Aloe. Keep repeating until pain and redness is gone.  I sometimes take a band aid and apply it over the Aloe piece on the body surface so it will stay put, freeing me up to go about my business.  Purchased Aloe in a jar or bottle is just not the same as fresh Aloe and you won't see anywhere near the positive impact on the burn from such products.  Get an Aloe plant.  It's difficult to kill an Aloe; it requires just a little light, poor soil and infrequent watering. (Mine has sometimes gone months without a watering.  Ach! forgive me dear Aloe).

If Aloe is not available, keep by the stove a 4oz roller top bottle of a burn-specific aromatherapy concoction^ which includes German Chamomile (Matricaria recutitia), Evening Primrose oil, Vitamin E and Tamanu (see resource list below).  This is also very good for post-chemo radiation burns. Roll on judiciously and frequently until pain and redness diminish.

Thinking outside the box until you get a box to think inside of:  If you are up the creek with no Aloe, no "burn" aromatherapy roller bottle handy, put the burn under cool/cold water until the pain subsides and apply moistened Chamomile tea bags to the area (while you gather yourself and call a neighbor for some Aloe).

Regenerating damaged skin:  Burns often produce external scarring.  Combining Helichrysum (Helicrysum italicum) and True Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) with Tamanu.^  Applying frequently will help the skin regenerate.*

Common Sense:  Increase fluid intake (hydration) and Vitamin C (cell regeneration) with increased exposure to sun and when experiencing a burn.

Sprains:  Once you've twisted an ankle, wrist or other joint, immediately fill a large plastic bag with ice, sink the injury in it and elevate it.  Many people are afraid the bag of ice is going to be too cold for the body to handle.  The injury is going to be putting off so much heat, the ice will be a lukewarm puddle within 40 minutes.  You want to limit the swelling and inflammation from the get go; ice and elevation are key. Take Arnica homeopathic pellets (Hyland's Arnica Montana 30x -- 250 Tablets), 2-3 every 10-15 minutes for several hours. After the first hour of icing, apply Arnica gel/cream (Boiron Arnicare® Arnica Gel) or preferably Traumeel (Heel Traumeel® Homeopathic Gel -- 1.76 oz) to the injury and apply bags of frozen peas (less dripping wet, holds cold much longer than ice or those silly frozen gel packs that go warm after 5 minutes) to the injury (use ace wrap or bandannas to secure), keeping it elevated.  You are going to be icing the sprain every 20 minutes while awake for at least 24 hours.  It will probably feel good to keep doing it for another 48-72 hours. Do what feels good. Take some Rescue Remedy flower essence (Bach Flower Remedies Rescue Remedy Stress Relief Tincure -- 10 mL) if possible the first 48 hours, a dropper full in a glass of water 3 times a day.  This is for shock and trauma (and grief); helps the energy layers to settle down, and move back to homeostasis.

Sprains require babying.  If you push too fast and too soon,  you will set yourself back.  Keep off the injury as much as possible the first week, keep it elevated every chance you get. When you elevate it, apply the above-mentioned homeopathic cream/gel (for pain and inflammation). Touch it often.  Let the healing in your own hands inform the area that has been hurt, as it will inform you.  If the injury is to your lower body, use a cane, walker or crutches to stay off of it at least for a few days.  Use a light weight air brace to help with mobility. Your body will very naturally let you know when you don't need these accessories any longer.

Getting Acupuncture frequently for the first two weeks will help balance your energy systemically and improve circulation.  If there is any doubt it is more than a sprain, or you aren't seeing at least gradual improvement daily, seek help from a conventional healthcare practitioner. Approaching a sprain with a judicious attitude (following the above with patience and forbearance) will often most likely shave off a week to three weeks in the healing process.

As always, it is always best to consult with your health care practitioner when taking herbal medicines or when considering any before-mentioned health practices.




*When using any essential oil, avoid contact with eyes and broken skin.  Flush with milk (not water) if inadvertently gets in eye.
^ these essential oil based products can be purchased through Integrated Medicine of Philadelphia directly.  Contact:  mkGermaineFraser@gmail.com for further product inquiries

Resources:
For essential oils, tamanu, primrose oil:
HERBARIUM Herbal and Nutritional Supplements including Bulk ...  (great! info & service)
Appalachian Valley Natural Products


for discounted homeopathic creams and products:
Vitacost.com

Grief as Medicine

Keri Cheran, "It hurts to talk About Our dead and gone".  Purepecha of Michoacan 

Municipality Cheran

I'm compelled to write about grief again as it is such an apparent and present state in the culture at large.  As I've said in previous posts, not only is it misunderstood, there is little support for it.

Grief is assumed when there is a death.  The cultural understanding is one will be very sad for a few days to a few weeks, a little less sad for a few months and "back to one's self" within a year at the latest.  These cultural guidelines are at best random and at worst, ridiculous.
Grief transpires not only at the experience of death, but in the process of dying (ones own dying process or witnessing it in another), in large changes such as separation/divorce, big moves and major transitions such as teen to adult, leaving college, transitioning to middle age or old age, living with made choices or non-choices.  Grief happens after injury or surgery or major illness, at the loss of a job (even a bad one) or a career.  And grief is re-awakened at every loss' anniversary or holiday.  As they say, every loss is a reminder of all the previous losses before it.  Grief is everywhere.  But in this culture, even though grief is seemingly at one door or another, many people are literally at a loss as to how to recognize it, how to work with it, how to know it and how to move through it.  It is foreign, because the expectation of what it is and what it looks like is not recognized.

Grief is unrecognized mostly because it is so varied and unpredictable.  It looks/feels like deep lethargy, paralyzation or numbness. It can also be an excruciating aliveness to the subtle; the way light falls on a tree, the memory of an odor, the nuanced subtlety of sand in one's toes.  Energetically, grief can cause the body tremendous fatigue and exhaustion.  Once this is seen and noted, one expects this for a few days.  But often, it presents in an incredibly labile way.  One might have a strong sense of themselves, their usual energy pattern in the morning and total exhaustion covers them by mid day.  And the next day the energy patterns might be reversed-- or not; it's often unknowable.  It requires a type of acceptance, a willingness to roll with it and an abdication of control; very difficult skills for most people, especially if one is responsible for a deceased's property.  Sometimes in the grief process, "the black hole" days are endless and too frequent to be tolerated (probably why most people will do almost anything not to go there.).  Other times, grief sweeps over you lightly for a moment and keeps moving on. There is no recipe for grieving.  There is no guarantee that if you do the work, it won't surface again.

Serge Prengel describes it well in relation to Kubler-Ross' seven stages of grief in the death and dying experience, The 5 - or 7 - stages of grief & loss: The grief cycle & the grieving ..., as a roller coaster of chaotic feelings.  This characteristic differentiates grief from depression.  Grief is extremely energetic, whereas depression's characteristic energy pattern is -- well, depressed. Unexpressed or unprocessed grief will turn to depression like unprocessed anger and fear will turn to depression.  Faith and an honoring of the Self is often the only motivator in opening the grief door.


So then, how do we process grief? As mentioned above, it is rolling with it; being with what is, as it is, even in the sometimes unusual expression of it or the inconvenient timing. This is inevitably, at least part of the time, an excruciating and uncomfortable business; like being in an undertow for a prolonged period of time. Having empathic others for backboards to verbalize your experience is helpful.  Following the body and voice's cues, no matter how strange, bizarre and incomprehensible may be another way of rolling with it, if you can give yourself the time and space.  

healing in the grief nest

There are several essential oils (eo) very useful in grief.  The classic eo for grief is Helicrysum. Angelica and Petigrain are also deeply restorative.  Used in bath salts, lotions/oils or in diffusers at night, could be very helpful in taking the edge off, supporting the organism in its process.  Having bodywork done by a trusted other during this time would be nourishing.  Therapeutic Touch, Reiki, Acupuncture, massage, reflexology are all ways to return, to experience a semblance of yourself again, releasing static tensions.  Maintaining a breath-centered practice like Qigong or Yoga, swimming or walking is a way of clearing staid energy and getting one's flow back.  Movement is a big stress reducer, and if possible, would be good to have in play regularly.  And of course there is always blessed sleep. 

Bach Flower remedies are a subtle way to support the taxed organism. Rescue Remedy, the crisis and emergency remedy, is a combination of flower essences equivalent to an emotional first-aid kit, containing five single remedies: Rock Rose, Clematis, Impatient, Star of Bethlehem and Cherry Plum. Star of Bethlehem is the quintessential Flower essence for shock, loss and grief;

Grief is a constantly shifting storm front to weather. It's a soul-growing process.  Somehow, we are better for knowing it, but often don't know this until a long while after.

Grief is itself a medicine.  ~William Cowper

suggested reading:

Unattended Sorrow: Recovering from Loss and Reviving the Heart

(anything by Steven Levine is good on this subject)

On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler\

Energy Field Surveillance

Double-sided Chakra illustration

Everything is energy.  We are an energy field.*  We are constantly emitting and/or receiving energy.  Our energy field doesn't stop at our body's edge, but continues seven layers beyond.  These energy fields are impacted moment to moment by our experiences of ourselves and the world around us, by all degrees of stress and trauma.  These surrounding energy fields thin out, even get "hole-y" depending on what kinds of stress we are subject to.  Compromised energy fields impact the subsequent layers until it reaches the body's physiological level.  If the integrity of the layers of energy fields around us aren't addressed, our bodies are then subject to the accumulated dis-ease and will begin to manifest illness.  In my mind, "prevention" begins with an awareness and consciousness that I am energy, that I am surrounded by energy and need to take care of these energy fields impacting my physiology, that which constitutes my life force, my vital energy.

Our body's adapting mechanism is a double-edge sword.  On one hand, stress happens, we (sometimes) note and sense it and then our bodies adapt to it.  And then stress happens again and very efficiently, the body adapts to it again.  And so the pattern goes.  We are constantly adapting to stressors and also accumulating layers upon layers of it without resolving it.  This impacts our energy fields and life force as mentioned previously.  An akin metaphor would be, we enter a room with a bad odor.  The body notes it but within seconds adapts and "gets used to it"; the olfactory stops noting the bad odor (even though the odor has not gone away).  This is very like how the body deals with stress. Our bodies are designed to adapt, adapt, adapt, giving us a false sense that the stress is no longer present nor been absorbed.

So, what is required are three things: a more acute sensitization and awareness that my being is currently being subjected to difficulty, or stress, a sense of internal (and external) groundedness that acknowledges the disturbance and finally that care is taken.

Meditation or mindfulness is a very useful practice in this regard.  By slowing the mind, feeling-center and body down, sensitizing our awareness, we begin to have a consciousness of the subtle and oblique in ourselves.  With regular practice, the organism becomes "primed" in this awareness, so outside of our meditation time, a relationship within ourselves to ourselves (and occasionally others) is more likely in experiencing this subtly in our every day activity.

Many of us as young parents (of a certain generation) taught our children about the "uh-oh feeling". That feeling one gets, that's not seemingly justified, but none-the-less real.  We taught our children to respect that uncomfortable sense in oneself and seek help and safety even if those surrounding us at the time didn't have a similar feeling. This "uh-oh" feeling in my mind, is somewhat related to intuition, but I also think it's a body awareness that is quite subtle,  possible messaging from our energetic field.

Kirlian Bio-electrography (electricmagnetic energy field)

                        of an disturbed and intact human body

An experience I had recently ties all of this in to a cogent (for me) understanding.  Over the course of several weeks I had a series of stressors/trauma that ranged from mundane to quite disturbing.  As a "good and responsible" adult, I shouldered all of it and kept moving through, so-to-speak.  This good body, adapted beautifully (as it always does).  It adapted and I continued to function ostensibly quite normally.  Along with these events, there was a part of me keeping track of these harsh occurrences, just noting them, noting my organism's mild to reactive response.  After a period of meditation, several weeks down the road I had a very light "uh-oh feeling".  I sat up to this sensation and listened a bit closer.  Something in me (one of my more quiet voices) laid out the accounting of these hostile experiences I had been through one by one and validated there had been a rough accumulation this organism had sustained.  An inner-eye did a cursory once-over of my body while quietly sitting there and the impression was, my energy fields were not quite right; thin in areas and maybe even a bit hole-y.  This brought my awareness to "how am I feeling".  In a less sensitized state, the answer would have been "fine".  But in this more quiet state I became aware of not quite feeling myself, the energy was ok, getting by so-to-speak, but I felt a type of internal laboring. Now, in tandem with this more acute awareness of myself, there also was present she who tends to be in denial, is ok with everything and doesn't like to make a big deal, and is only concerned with carrying on (with no fuss) and maintaining the convenience of not altering anything.  My "assessor", the thorough note-taker, was in charge (thankfully) at the time, and decided it was time to take some care.

I did three specific things toward “smoothing” out (both reinvigorating and nourishing) my energy field. Over the course of the next three days, I took an aromatherapy bath, did a session of QiGong and went to an acupuncturist.

Aromatherapy’s essential oils (eos) work on a vibrational level. My aim in using them was to have the deeply relaxing, replenishing chemistry of these eos work on my energy field.  I took the bath at 2pm and slept afterwards for 4 hours (unusual for me), waking very refreshed and feeling renewed.   My night sleep was not disturbed but a normal, 7-8 hours.

QiGong is also a type of energy medicine.  “Qi baths” basically draw energy up and over oneself, connecting oneself to the earth and the heavens (per Chinese ideology).  “Scattering Rice” is pulling energy into your belt line (dantian) and releasing it behind you.  Done repetitively (along with the deep breathing that is part of all Qigong work) this ‘rights’ and balances one’s energy.

On the third day I visited the acupuncturist.  During the session, I fell asleep for an hour and was ‘rosey-colored’ when I awoke.  I did a few low key errands afterwards and noticed a subtle, sublime feeling of joy and that my sense of myself, my “inner smile” as the Taoists say, had returned (I hadn’t realized it was missing).  I walked around the co-op with a buoyancy and a sense of deep, quiet happiness. I slept 11 hours that night.  My energy fields are feeling pretty intact at the moment.

Preventative medicine for many people is getting an annual check up. I think a broader awareness and attention to one’s energy fields should be a big consideration in addressing prevention. As was illustrated we are dealing with varying aspects of ourselves;  there is an assessor, a denier, parts of ourselves that sense the delicate, other parts that are rather obtuse, only wanting the comfort of sameness. We know stress impacts our health. Why wait until we have a full blown symptom or disease? Why not take care by addressing one’s energy field before the damage effects our physiology?

*Human Energy Fields