Aging: Willing to Change

I've written a lot on aging.  And I've written a lot on changing.  But I'm always surprised at our human propensity try as we do, to make every effort to do neither.

I've lived a fairly long time, been through almost all of the developmental stages and have witnessed thousands of times others going through them.  The bridges between the stages are the most interesting, where most of the unknown rests.  We are between two stools, so to speak.  It takes a graceful adjustment (hopefully) once we come out of our denial that that is where we are.  And the feeling into that unknown (especially if it seems like a down turn) is where our decades of maturity comes in handy.

The willingness to change is required.  Tweaking or revamping nutritional needs to optimize our sense of wellbeing.  Adding supplements to support usurped nutrients the body isn't so robustly producing on its own.  Experimenting with alternative forms of healthcare like acupuncture, botanicals, homeopathy or naturopathy, chiropractic or bodywork for aches or pains that don't resolve themselves like they did when one was younger.  Recognizing stretching is a requirement, no longer a "it-would-be-nice-to do-if-you-can" prior to exercise or to relieve ligaments and muscles that tighten a lot more easily.  Taking a pro-active, preventative, and informed approach to one's health and in relationship to the healthcare industry is a mature step.

From my prospective as an aging person and someone who experiences a lot of aging people a lot of the time, mental and attitudinal flexibility is also a vital component to a joyful old age.   The "firebrand", reactive aspect is something to accept and be interested in in much younger folks.  The young are  finding their way in the world, discovering their values, forming an identity.  We have the capacity after a lot of living, to hold them in a safe container until they figure it out; to not judge or criticize them for their search.  Reactivity in an older person indicates that a personal understanding and healing hasn't been reached, a wholeness not found.  Especially in a dire political climate-- that discretionary, centered, more whole perspective is needed from elders to help balance the host of others in their 20's through (often) '50s who are in reaction/crisis mode a lot of the time and which effects their equilibrium, communities and the world energetically.  Because we've "been to the rodeo" a few times and hopefully done a fair amount of living, hurting, healing and the rest. Gandhi's proposal, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world", is a serious undertaking for an elder.

Returning: Authentic Movement in the Now

Sometimes we find ourselves in the throws of circumstances we know nothing about, and for which we have no reference point.  Perhaps it is precipitated by a shock, trauma, re-trauma causing a degree of disassociation. We are left almost bereft, uncertain, feeling outside of our normal self.  The world has turned upside down, we try to act, make decisions, behave to and in the completely unfamiliar.  What is, becomes living an estrangement; a betrayal of one's core truth.  In this disorienting position, we grapple with trying to reach an understanding with skills we don't have, that aren't in our normal milieu.  Perhaps the shock has us abandon our centered self, the place of understanding and homeostasis from which we usually operate.

Recovery is not immediate.  There is an unwinding necessary.  Typical destressing techniques don't work, aren't possible in this scenario.  Time is actually the healer, the thing that helps us regain perspective, bringing my externalized self back home.  Returning to the body as a point of reference, returning to the act of listening to the body is a salve that begins to heal the torn fabric of ourselves, our being.

In my mind this is the true value of the Authentic Movement (AM) form.  It's an invitation to return to what Is.  There is a client I have coached for several months and we have used AM in significant ways to reassociate (self)Presence as a prescription.  After a very difficult week of losses, I suggested she do some AM during our session.  Initially, she didn't want to; she felt too tired and she didn't want to do all the angry air punching she felt she would end up doing.  I asked her who in her believed she knew what her tired body would turn to in the moment of dropping in and stillness that is the beginning of the form.  That's a moment that is new, not laden with anticipation or agenda.  We are asked to breathe, sense and Be-- and then finally allow what is to manifest.


She described this session as I have described sessions, as many many others have described sessions, as being an affirmation of the body to Self, an experience of returning to what is true, now. When we stop, breathe, drop in-- the unexpected often happens.

We are our bodies in this way.  Our bodies are a source to return to for a reality check, for our truth to pass through and the rest of me to register.  All of a sudden, the frenetic head energy I've been running on all day is redistributed, transformed to include the rest of me.  I find my strength, my vertical in the presence of the body in the now.

Plating: Procurement to Plate, the Joy of Partaking III

Why do we bother to imagine and intend how a plate presents?  It's the food that matters, right?  It's the  components  we bothered to prepare that get our saliva started, bile juices turning, that promote the digestive process.  What does it matter what it looks like as long as my body and a meal are in gear?

We humans discount the impact of subtle (and gross) impressions on our being.  Impressions are a food unto themselves.  They satiate a deeper hunger, a hunger that isn't always at the forefront of ourselves.  I saw this when I was a nurse in a hospital.  Patient's fragile states and reduced appetites were often impacted not by the food so much as the presentation.  I saw patients lose their appetite if the meal was huge (imposing, overwhelming).  Countering this, I saw patients gain an appetite when color, care and balanced portions were presented.  It's an energy thing, I think.  A patient's energy is so sensitized due to their illness; they pick up on, register (possibly assume?) the energy of the plater, the server, the preparer of the meal.  When it is mechanical, uncaring it's unappetizing.  Institutional food is not unappetizing solely because it's mass produced, but also because it's mass delivered in an often coarse way.  The automatic and unmindful way we partake of meals or food as a general population has become commonplace.  And so it is reflected in our institutions.  When we become more sensitized to the sacred event in a meal and all the parts thereof,  the event becomes something else.  We become something else other than food shoveling automatons.  A meal is (could be / should be) a sacred event; a nurturing of our being through deep nourishing impressions and thoughtful, balanced nutrients.

When imagining a meal, the long view of how it will be served and how it will end up on a plate is necessary.  Whereas three components on a plate are traditional, a fourth (or more) component makes it a party, a feast.  Keeping intact the original shape and size of at least one component supports the other components which have undergone chopping and/or shrinking (a transformation).  Alternately, if all the components are roughly the same size and whole, it is less interesting and appealing than when one or two have been altered in size and/or texture.

It might be helpful to look at the components of a meal as playing a role.  There is the "hero" on the plate and the supporting players.  The supporting players enhance, even elevate the hero.  They are sometimes the sublime foil for the hero or each other.  They do this through complimenting color, texture, size and shape and of course flavor.  An example of this would be the sweet/sour/pungent accompaniment to meat, such as a chutney or a sauce/gravy.  This is a complex foil.  Complex in color and flavor.  Often the simplicity of a steamed vegetable unadulterated, brings relief to one's gastronomy when the other offerings have more complexity.  

As far as plating goes, harmony and balance are achieved in a meal when proportions are considered in relation to the whole, when colors are complimentary, when texture and shape are varied.  This might seem like a lot to consider and possibly fussy.  Fuss happens when tension moves in.  In a relaxed state, the right everything is available.  There is no hyper considering, worrying, over-concern.  Hence, no fussiness.  Considering the relationship of the meal's components as full and dimensional as well as being sometimes complex, is not the same thing as being overdone or fussy.  Overdone can be loading a pancake with so much fruit, that it does not allow the complex carbohydrate to have a voice of its own.  Or drowning the hero (protein) in a sauce that overbears upon the prime attraction.  Too much.  Not enough thought, restraint, or care-- or perhaps a capitulation to impulsive desire.  The food's end result will always show us the truth of the matter.

There are always surprises in cooking.  The colors you thought you were going to get don't happen or aren't pleasing.  Something shrinks in cooking you didn't expect.  The relationship of the components isn't finding balance on the plate.  Wonderful quandaries!  It allows us to reconsider what is required.  It asks us to sensitize ourselves to what is and to move from there in an open inquiry.  Quite often, the simplest of things like a leaf of parsley, a sliver of orange rind pulls everything together.  What to use?  How to decide?  Relationship should be what dictates the creative impulse.  If parsley was used in one of the components-- to have parsley at its simplest, expressed on another component would speak volumes.  It would be sublimely related. We aren't bringing something entirely foreign, but something, somehow related.  It's an interesting study to soften and open to what is and what the plate asks for.

photo credit:  Lalu Danzker

Service is an interesting consideration.  Do we plate before reaching the table, attempting to  control the received impression?  Or does the meal call for a family-style delivery?  Platters and bowls of the meal's components on the table to individually serve from?  This latter prospect invites a sense of abundance and also a different type of interaction among the meal's participants (things have to be passed to others, conversation ensues).  Every meal calls for its own type of service.

This post and most of the posts I write on food (hopefully) invite you into a sensitization, a receptive mode:  this state is the human gift.  All people have this as a propensity, it is part of our human inheritance.  Receptivity to impressions of food is just one facet of the prism of our existence.  It's a good place to practice the process of opening, sensitizing and receiving impressions and will carry over to all relationships (inner and outer) as its value is recognized.

Courage, Confidence and Wellness

We spend a lifetime searching for balance.  We learn about a new piece of dietary information; we try it out.  Science comes up with new info about our body's function; we consider this, perhaps, by modifying our behavior.  We accumulate information and try to verify an approach to our own wellness through the decades.  And if we're lucky,  something settles in us that isn't so reactive.  It's hoped for—that we become discerning in our responses to new information, not jumping from one new fangled idea or another in a quest to be healthier.  This would go for a spiritual growing up as well.  In all of this, what is the difference between adapting and adopting?

Courage and a Self Confidence is required. Through our continuum, there is a time to follow and "obey".  There is also a time to find the courage not to look toward outward "authority",  but believe enough in what one has experienced, gathered information-wise and trust in one's own maturation process.  Or, maybe it's about following the intuitive messages even though all that outward advice makes sense.  A reliable practice of self-awareness will sort the false impulse from the true impulse.  It is a growing up of sorts;  a confidence in one's own perceptions, knowledge/understanding base and the experience of having navigated dark corners before.  It's a trust in speaking up, being adversarial when necessary, being close to one's own truth.  This doesn't negate being open to other information or an other.  It just means owning one's own grounded material in what Is.

This sometimes means finding one's own language within the known culture, whether it be in spiritual practice or wellness lingo.  Human nature makes us prone to being static in our approach, clinging to what has been known, whether it be language, way of understanding, an approach to a spiritual or wellness practice, or dietary and movement habits.  Because everything is changing all the time, being light "on our feet" is necessary.  A regular practice of entering into unknown territory, making efforts that are not familiar, or may be somewhat uncomfortable and foreign.  Becoming familiar with how—and where—I recede and retreat into habits that aren't useful is part of the self awareness practice.  If one has relied primarily on external authority to direct one's efforts in the past, claiming a semblance of one's own "master" is initially a rocky road.  It's sort of like being 20 years old again, finding your young adult legs under yourself, making first time life decisions, leaning into resistance and not capitulating.  It's possible to boldly strike out, to find the courage to be enough where you are, recognize your needs, and make a demand of yourself or of others to meet those needs.

It is true there is an "action" component to all this.  But mostly, it's sublimely internal. The action has turned inward, hence, doesn't have to be externally manifested to the extent it has been in previous decades.  Stepping up to (the responsibility of) oneself minimizes confusion.  Confidence is confidence, not arrogance.  Courage is courage, not being cavalier.  It's clear.  Understanding and living these differences makes us our own leader, mentor, guru.  And if we somehow find we have trickled our way into arrogance or have become cavalier, that's ok.  Because we have, at our foundation, taken responsibility and owned what is.  So we own that, and we mindfully work with that manifestation.  It's a beautiful thing. No longer are we afraid of being—or experiencing ourselves—as arrogant.  We are more afraid of not seeing what is.  We are more afraid of being static and internally atrophied.  Scary personality portraits of old are now interesting, beguiling, surprising and refresh our perspective.

"To thine own self be true." Hamlet, Wm Shakespeare

“And you will know the truth, and that truth will set you free.”  John 8:32