Preparing for Surgery

Surgery is on your (or loved one) horizon.  How to prepare?

Because we are complex, whole people, this is a layered question.  There is the practical outer aspects of preparing and there is the internal aspect (in my mind, also practical).  Whereas every surgery is unique and every person approaching it is unique, there are some universal commonalities.

Anxiety.  Everyone has some degree of anxiety.  Anxiety is promoted by tension, which usually turns to fear which unfolds into streams of negativity.  Finding ways to manage one's anxiety and negativity/fear is key.  Manage is the operating word, because it is only human to have intrepidation moving into the unknown of what will be.  Practically, information gather with gusto.  Find out everything you can about your condition, the nuts and bolts of your surgery including expected anesthesia, the rehabilitation anticipated and the process.  Because of the ACA (Affordable Care Act), it is mandatory for doctors, hospitals and their staff to fully educate their patients on their medical conditions.  There are negative consequences for MDs that don't do this, that don't follow up, or monitor their patient's aftermath from hospitalization (they won't get paid for re-admissions and are accountable to some extent for hospital acquired infections).  Be pro-active, be interested, curious and knowledgeable.  Knowledge is power.  A knowledgeable patient is empowered and that puts you in a strong place entering a vulnerable situation.  With your best inquiring self in place, ask a lot of questions. Keep asking them until you are fully satisfied.  Ignore the huffy healthcare person that is rebuffed or contemptuous of these questions.  Questions help build relationship with healthcare people.  It does not empower or become you to be passive.  If this is difficult for you not to do, good.  It's a challenge to your personal status quo, one you should have challenged a long time ago.  Still, it would be helpful to have an advocate (loved one, family, friend, wellness coach) to saddle up to you through this fact finding mission.  Keep a journal or log of doctor visits, information gathered, thoughts, feelings, experiences with healthcare people.  Practitioners that are deleterious, note and figure how to remedy.  A certain nurse you sense is disinterested, cuts you off, is impatient?  Get another one.  You can ask for this and you can say why.  You want to situate yourself in the best possible position mentally and physically as you can.  So write everything down, chronicle your journey (the good and the bad) and make sure you feel strongly you are in the best  possible place in yourself and in the best of hands walking into your surgery.  Trusting you are optimally positioned before this event means a much better outcome for you.  Having a lack of trust or relationship with your healthcare providers undermines you deeply and this effects your outcomes and healing.

In this anticipatory process the anxiety will get in the way.  You will keep grasping at providers for handholding, your fears will trip you up.  Whereas, its great to gather information, it will not totally alleviate your anxiety.  You must start taking some steps to support your well being.  If  you don't meditate, figuring out what this is for yourself, giving yourself some alone, quiet time every day where there is stillness and breath.  Read up on affirmations.  There are tons of books out there that lead us into a more positive frame of mind through affirmations.  Some are "hokeyer" than others.  You can only skim through potential titles and content to get a feel of what is right for you.  With practice, you start making your own, framing them in your own lingo that feels best for you.  Start some rituals you do everyday.  Five minutes of creative time every day:  write a poem, keep a small book of sketches or quick water colors. A night time ritual of putting yourself to bed; bathing, lotioning, use essential oils, brush your hair, set the "stage" of your bed:  fresh flowers, a candle, meditation tapes.  These are ways we love ourselves, care for ourselves.  Self touch with intention is healing.  You want to kick in the parasympathetic nervous system, the relaxation response, regularly and potently.  The body's cellular memory remembers this and when given the chance goes there more and more easily with these ritual reminders.  Breathe.  Smell the roses.  Smell the coffee.  Take a lot of time to be with yourself and your pleasures. If you don't want to depend on loved ones and you have the resources, hire a wellness coach.  They can give you specific, useful exercises to ground you in quiet and wellness.  After they get to know you, they tailor everything to you, so you will receive optimal, useful information on the pragmatic details as well as the non.  They are your hand holders, the go-to people when a melt down is imminent.  Hired for a specific time period before through after surgery, it is money well spent.

If you are not a pragmatic person, you probably love someone who is.  Enlist this person as an advocate.  Weeks before, have them sit down with you and figure out a strategy and plan for the practical details leading up to the surgery, rehabilitation and beyond.  If you are pragmatic, you probably love someone who is as well (there are a lot of us around!).  Two heads are better than one.  Figure it out together.  How are you getting to (and returning from) the hospital, is your set up at home adequate for your return (do you need a hospital bed, bed-side commode, grab bars for shower, etc)? Schedule helpful visitors for the first two weeks, people who make meals and don't mind doing a little light housework, errands, grocery shop, etc.  Schedule upbeat, easy-going, happy-go-lucky folks; people who have a good comedy DVD collection, who aren't going to do your spirit ill.  Schedule people who know when to stay and when to leave and whom you don't have to entertain (or necessarily entertain you).  Not feeling well is a good excuse to start saying "No" to everything that doesn't feel right.  People who love you won't take offense and will probably learn to be a little more sensitive in their approach.  The best of these folk will help you find the humor in all the "no-s" and be able to bring some lightness to the cranky periods.

These are practical preparations.  The mental and emotional preparation are often the most challenging and also the most important.  When this is well done, the practical becomes a piece of cake, as you are thinking and feeling with more clarity.  Fear isn't the modus operandi.  Also, in being more clear, a plan B often naturally surfaces, always a good thing.  We plan for the worst, hope for the best....  The better your frame of mind and spirit are, the quicker you will rebound, recover.  This is science.  Find your joie de vivre, your life force, your wish to live and prosper and bring them to the event.  Those who are rarin' to go do their physical therapy first thing in the morning post surgery, are positive.  This positivity saturates their being and wellness is theirs.  Their recovery times will be faster, their pain will be less, their outcomes optimal.  They have their endocrine system working for them and their good energy only supports the healing process (unlike the negative which absolutely undermines it).

An upbeat attitude, a good relationship  to and use of your breath and certain essential oils go far in dealing with pain.  Laying a strategy for yourself in dealing with it is important.  In the first few days, take the pain meds allowed.  Trying to be a hero by not taking them can set you back.  In pain, the relaxation response is impossible.  You want those feel good hormones cascading to support your healing process.  You will have good days and you will have bad ones.  Just keep moving through them as best you can, ask for the help you deserve.  All will be well.