Grief Work

2000 year old elder

Grief work is a very necessary activity as we navigate our life's continuum.  There is a lot to grieve about.  It can be, however, uncomfortable and often frightening territory to traverse for many, conditioned as we are to be "up", "fine" and able to manage anything with chronically sunny dispositions. In western culture, it's not a readily accepted undertaking, or is often mislabeled as depression; hence there isn't a lot of support for it.  So when we make an inquiry into that dark place, it can be lonely, foreign and well.... dark.

After a series of significant losses, I found myself in a grocery store following a carriage with a baby in it. I experienced the baby seeing me.  Seeing me in my loss.  I hadn't felt seen in this way by anyone up to that point, being an invisible grief-stricken pedestrian to be avoided at all costs. When the baby saw me, I felt this surge of joy in my solar plexus that stopped abruptly at the top of my diaphragm, as it ascended up, as if there was a lid on the rest of me.  It couldn't move up to my heart, the space occupied by the necessary grief.  I realized, this grief was living in me and it had its own time and this surge of joy would have to wait a bit to complete itself.  Surprisingly, this didn't add to my sadness, but actually gave me hope.

I've had the privilege to do tremendously varied grief work with myself and others.  It is dense and rich material that affirms our humanity, if the courage can be found to meet it.  Following is an essay on creatively using energy / movement work to address grief.  Holistic Grief Work