Spontaneous Meditation

We live in a world that is self-centric. Human propensity (and culturally condoned narcissistic tendencies) dictate the belief in individuality, promoting that each of us is the center of the universe. So, we have "my life.... my community.... my meditation practice", and so on.

Lately, I have had the sublime experience of frequent spontaneous meditations; a 'sitting' period in the middle of somewhere (not my usual morning cushion), at a time of day when I'm not used to partaking in this activity.  What has surfaced over these unusual (for me) occurrences, is the realization I take false ownership of this thing I call meditation, and how usually there is a lack of mutuality with the energies around me, the divine, the relationship with Other-- that which is unseen and largely unknown.

Meditation in the past has in good part been 'work', self-discipline, occasionally agonizing.  Someone in me often labels meditations as:  a "good" sitting, a "difficult" sitting and everything in-between.  Rarely, is this naming habit self-questioned, this attitude that marks my internal experiences noted.  So, to have these spontaneous occurrences of connection to more of myself and to that which is around me and the enjoyment of the movement of the accompanying energies inside and outside of me is surprising.  It's not work, it's not self-disciplined and it's definitely not agonizing.  It brings to me the question, what in me sits:  wants to sit, needs to sit?  This is a feeling, a sensation not a thought.  Is the value of it usually a mental exercise of what I think is good for me (and maybe the world outside of me)?  This experience of a spontaneous meditation, feels organic, natural, unforced, not premeditated (no pun intended).  It also has a quality of connection that isn't self-centric.  It's not for me, about me, nor is it mine.  It's an engagement of another order.

This is not to judge the decades of the other qualitative types of sittings I've known.  It's probable that one type of connecting to oneself builds on the other efforts made which prepares the ground for yet other types of self-relatedness to be in existence.  So all is good; no effort goes unwasted, as it is said.

Which brings me back to the notion of being and acting from value not obligation, discipline and duty.  The quality of the experience is enhanced with the former.  An opening transpires, curiosity and  interest carry me with a buoyancy.  One's sense of aliveness is palpable,  When I value and feel the worth of the Stop, the breath, the stillness, the what Is, my connection is very different.  I become relatable, the attention is softly acute.  It's a state somewhat removed from the ordinary, unattached to my usual human struggle.

Obligation, duty, discipline-- there is a place for them, in meditation and elsewhere.  As I am finding with many practices, even diet awareness and exercise, when I approach them with excitement and curiosity or engage out of enjoyment instead of duty something else happens besides the accomplishment of a healthy meal, an exercise routine done or a morning meditation completed.  An experience, often transcendent, occurs.  I have more Life.  I have an experience which is more connected to myself and more related to the subtle energies that surround me.